Knowledge Hub
What signs do we get from people who have died?
Staying alert to signs can be a way to find comfort and support as you move forward with your life after a bereavement. Find out how a woodpecker helped Jane!
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Who should I appoint as my power of attorney?
If you’re not sure who you should choose for the different types of power of attorney here are some ideas to help you.
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What’s the difference between a will and power of attorney?
Learn the difference between a will and power of attorney, and when each of them takes effect.
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What happens after I die?
What happens after death is one of those perennial questions! Jane shares her thoughts on some of the different aspects you might want to consider.
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What does a white feather mean?
Discover how the lightness of a feather (or three) helped Jane move through the gravity of grief.
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What is a shroud?
“Would you rather your body was wrapped in a shroud, or placed in a coffin?” This was a question I asked folk in my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/endoflifeconversations It turned out that it was more or less equally divided, but that many didn’t know hardly anything about a shroud. So what is it? It’s…
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How do I start on sorting out my stuff?
Sorting out your stuff can sometimes feel so overwhelming that it’s really hard to get going. Here are my top 3 tips to help you make a start.
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Is there life after loss?
When you’re bereaved, it’s easy to think there will never be any quality of life after loss. It’s such a hard time, but this story gives hope, inspiration and a sense of possibility, especially for those in the older stage of life.
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What’s the difference between end of life plan facilitators and end of life doulas?
End of life as a phrase has become much more common in the last few years, initially attached to the word ‘doulas’, and now there are end of life plan facilitators, or consultants, and even coaches. So what’s the actual difference? An end of life doula is someone who is non-medical, and trained to…
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How do I organise my old photos?
How do I organise my old photos is something many have asked me about. It’s a great question, and very relevant for many of us of a certain age! And indeed if you are asking this question you are likely to have boxes/albums/files full of black and white photos, many of them not very good…
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How do I create a legacy book?
There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots; the other, wings. Here’s how you can leave tangible memories for your children and grandchildren.
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Will Coronavirus Change Our Conversations About Death?
A useful conversation set up by Compassion in Dying (UK), with several presenters, including a breast surgeon (who also has breast cancer); an intensive care anaesthetist; and a palliative care doctor.
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Do we really need to be frightened by death to fully appreciate life?
We’ve become so far removed from death that when the effect of the pandemic began to hit hard, we were stunned and shocked. How dare this happen, to us, who are so used to being in charge of life?
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How to plan for the end of life – Dying Matters Week UK
During Dying Matters week, I was delighted to be asked to post about just how you really DO plan – here are some pointers to get you going on your plan for the end of life. Even more essential now in these days of the pandemic.
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Funerals and body disposal in the time of coronavirus
In my book, Before I Go: The Essential Guide to Creating A Good End of Life Plan, I introduced the idea of the separation of the disposal of the body from the ritual involved in what has traditionally been called a funeral, and which is what we are familiar with. There is no doubt, funerals,…
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Coronavirus: stay home or go to hospital?
If I have coronavirus, is it better to stay at home or go to hospital? Dr Kathryn Mannix answers the question. #havetheconversation
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Coronavirus and being out of control – but here’s what you CAN control
Suddenly the possibility of death from COVID-19 has come closer much more swiftly than we might have anticipated. However, although we may not have any control over when, where or how the coronavirus will be in our area, we DO have control over how we meet it. We CAN manage our fearful thoughts (see my…
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Coronavirus, life, death and fear: 3 pointers when feeling out of control
3 ways to calm fear thoughts when worries about coronavirus threaten to take over
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Is funeral insurance really worth it?
Marisa, a client, contacted me with an urgent tone in her voice. “Should I get funeral insurance? I really want to sort my funeral out, but this is a big stumbling block for me. I just can’t decide, and it’s keeping me awake at night.” Aged 68, Marisa was aware she needed to take care…
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3 Tips on How to Talk to Children About Dying and Death
Many people have misgivings when it comes to talking with children about death. Find out what to do about it if it’s something you worry about.
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The most unusual Valentine’s Day present ever!
Everyone has an opinion about Valentine’s Day, but most of us love a gift, no matter what. Find out about a special offer on a gift that will really surprise your loved ones – as well as make their life easier!
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Decluttering
Inspired by the BIG Method, Michael Williams (a BIG Solutions end-of-life planning facilitator) decided to tackle the problem of de-cluttering a lifetime of posessions head-on.
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Time to get rid of euphemisms about death – or not?
Recently, an article was published in the Guardian on this subject. But is it really time to get rid of euphemisms about death? Could it be that if we do this, we are throwing the baby out with the bathwater? I was intrigued about this idea, and so asked people in a few Facebook groups…
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Marrying Yourself After Becoming a Widow: A Beautiful Ritual to Help You Recover
Being left behind takes quite a bit of getting used to, there is no doubt about it. But we can’t bury ourselves in our grief for the rest of our lives. We need to find a way to recover and move on. Some of us choose to remarry, and so did I, although this is a different kind of marriage.
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4 tips to dealing with the effects of missing someone you love
Missing your Mum or your Dad after they have died is as natural as anything, especially if they have played a large part in your life, such as if you had been caring for them. The grief comes with a big slam, catches you sideways, and tosses and turns you all over the place. A…
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How Do I Keep Funeral Costs Down?
How do I keep funeral costs down? The perennial question for many. Here’s a familiar story: “I don’t want to pay that amount of money for something I don’t want!” I screamed these words to the funeral director who sat opposite me on the sofa two days after my husband had died. Tears rolled down…
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What if You Died Today? 3 Quick (and Powerful!) Steps to Ease the Burden on Your Family
Paradoxically, when we are willing to face the end, we find ourselves able to appreciate being here, now, more fully. In other words, facing the end enables more joy right now; more pleasure and more satisfaction. Find out 3 simple things you can do to get prepared.
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Love-Giver or Love-Taker? 3 Tips for a Healthy Personality Balance
If you had died yesterday, what would you have lived your life as? A love-giver or a love-taker? Are you willing to change your demeanour toward life and try to be more open to giving?
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9 Unique Ways to Remember Your Loved Ones
Walking in a beautiful memorial park in Coventry, England, dedicated to the huge numbers of men killed in both World Wars, I felt the peace in the air. Remembrance is an important part of death, and there are lots of ways you can do it
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How do I create a ritual?
I didn’t know what to do – only that it was important to me to do something.”Shall we gather about coffee time tomorrow morning? And each of us say something?” I tentatively suggested…
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7 Things Learnt After Cleaning Out of a Home to Settle an Estate
My Facebook friend Shirley Johnson recently shared her experience of clearing out a family home to settle an estate. Read her valuable experiences and tips for how to avoid unnecessary time and hassle.
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7 ways To Help Maintain Your Independence As You Age
In my recent survey, the issue of being a burden, or maintaining your independence as you age was the one thing that most people mentioned. Find out what you can do right now to help yourself in the future.
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How do I let go of unnecessary stuff?
How on earth does anyone ever actually manage to let go of the unnecessary stuff that lies around in the house? I’ve got some suggestions for you…
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Is there such a thing as a good death?
In a world of increasing uncertainty death is one thing we all know for sure will happen. Is there such a thing as a good death?
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Short Video Series on End of Life Planning
In a series of five video chats with Sixty And Me founder Margaret Manning, Jane takes a detailed and sympathetic look at the challenges of making a good end of life plan.
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Death ‘Could’ Happen To You Too!
After my husband died in 2011, I became bound up with the idea that death could happen to me too. If a cancer diagnosis had come out of the blue for him, it could indeed happen to me too. The next thought, on the heels of that one, was ‘what if I die when I’m…
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How To Keep Someone Alive In Your Heart
Just because someone dies, does not mean you forget them – on the contrary they stay alive in your heart for as long as you want or need them to. That’s what was happening last week when I attended a charity evening run by Moray Business Women, the local networking club to which I belong.…
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Overwhelming feelings at Xmas
Thinking ahead to Christmas Day, or whichever day you celebrate in your faith, overwhelming feelings can easily arise when you think of the empty chair at the meal table; or no need to buy a present any more; or no present to look forward to receiving. Your heart is a mixture of emotions – on…
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When Your Parents Die, What Happens?
Someone said to me recently that when your parents die, if they are old, have led a good life, and are ready to go, then you don’t grieve so much. I have recently discovered both the truth and untruth of this, when my Dad died on 25th September, and then my Mum died just a…
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International Therapist Magazine, Autumn 2018
Jane’s article Working With Terminally Ill Clients, First published in International Therapist, the membership magazine of the FHT (www.fht.org.uk). You can read it online here or read the PDF
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When Your Partner Is Dying, What Do You Say?
Here’s an extract from an article I’ve just had published in NextAvenue.org. It contains many helpful suggestions for how to start and maintain a conversation when someone you love is dying, as well as tips on how to prepare well for the end, when it comes. You really are alive right up until the moment…
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What Happens When You Don’t Leave a Will
Aretha Franklin didn’t leave a will. What was she thinking of? Well, I assume she wasn’t thinking. Her lawyer is reported as saying he spoke to her repeatedly about having a last will and testament or a trust, and she always said she would do it, but never seemed to get round to it. Well,…
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Positive Aspects Of Preparing For Death
Today, I’m sharing an interview on Silver Tent Radio with Debra Sofia Magdalene. Listen in if you want to hear: about whether your body is useful, or harmful, in organ donation what living wakes are what death cleaning is and when to start and much more! Click here to listen Silver Tent Radio Show Host…
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What Is a Body?
From Before I Go: The Essential Guide to Creating A Good End of Life Plan. Chapter 7: What Is A Body? In many Western countries, when you see a closed coffin at a funeral, it can be a shock. Imagining the person you loved in there is not always a pleasant picture. A lid over…
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3 tips on how to talk with someone who is dying
Sylvia was becoming more and more frail. It was clear that, though in good spirits, her body was nearing the end of her life. She kept having visits to hospital, and had recently had a fall which had precipitated one of these. But how on earth do we talk with someone who is dying? If…
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What If You Knew You’d Be the Last To…?
What if you knew you’d be the last to touch someone? If you were taking tickets, for example, at the theatre, tearing them, giving back the ragged stubs, you might take care to touch that palm, brush your fingertips along the life line’s crease. When a man pulls his wheeled suitcase too…
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Seven Reasons To Bother Doing an End of Life Plan
1. You fall ill or have an accident, having assumed that your next of kin will be able to take care of you. The term next of kin often means your nearest blood relative. In the case of a married couple or a civil partnership it usually means their husband or wife. However, it is…
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Why Bother Doing An End Of Life Plan?
Let’s face it, there is never going to be a good time to address anything to do with dying, death or grief. When you’re fit and healthy, the last thing on your mind is the end of your life. However, this is actually the very time to take your head out of the sand and…
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Wills, Weddings and Updating Your Documentation
The royal wedding here in the UK has been a huge topic in the media of all kinds these last few weeks. However, I can bet that hardly anyone has been also talking to Prince Harry and Meghan about a crucial thing that needs to happen when a couple get married. It’s more usually thought…
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What Is a ‘Good Death’? – 5 Contributing Factors
My husband was lying in the hospital bed. Drains, tubes, and a catheter were connected to him in various ways. The constant beep-beep of the machine next to him was irritating beyond description, particularly at night-time. We’d been told there was nothing more they could do, and by this time he was too weak to…
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