End Of Life Planning Is Like Growing Seed

Sean Grant|

What is Seed Gathering Season?

Seed Gathering Season is a campaign which inspires everyone to gather seeds, nuts and fruits to grow into trees for the future. 

The festival starts each year on the 23rd of September (the autumn equinox, considered the first day of autumn) till the 23rd of October, so there’s just a few days left.

The campaign was organised by The Tree Council and is still running strong from 1998, that’s 24 years! 

Today will be focussed on looking at the similarities that growing seeds, building communities and end of life planning have in common.  

What has End of Life Planning Got To Do With Growing Seeds?

If you open a fruit such as a lemon, apple or tomato (yes tomato is a fruit!) you’ll be exposed to lots of small seeds.

Think of these seeds as ideas, small but full of potential. 

To give these seeds potential they require thought, care and nurturing so they can grow into their best form. 

To do this requires a plan, action and desire to follow through with it, e.g. where to plant them, when to do so, what kind of care they need afterwards. 

Similar to when creating an end of life plan, at the beginning it may feel messy, like a handful of seeds. 

You may have lots of documents laying around, you’re unsure what to prioritise or even how to get started!

But like a seed, you work on it, over time. 

You make sure to work on your end of life plan over a period of time, like watering a plant when it’s needed. 

A tree isn’t grown in a day, neither is an end of life plan. 

Making A difference

Bringing you back to the Seed Gathering Season, here it’s important to remember why it exists.  

Trees everywhere are being damaged by pests and diseases. But a great way to ensure the survival of different tree species is to diversify. 

Cultivating local seeds from home soil acts as a good insurance policy to ensure saplings arise when gaps appear. 

Growing trees from local seed can have great benefits in restocking areas with trees of the local province. 

This suggests that trees are adaptable to their local circumstances (quite like humans!) 

Symbolising that they are more likely to flourish and to restore, conserve and beautify local and urban places. 

Think of trees like a community. Growing together, shaping their surroundings and giving back to the environment. 

You have to admit, a great collection of magnificent trees is quite beautiful, isn’t it?


Growing Your End Of Life Plan 

Trees are excellent symbols of what can grow if care and nature are given. 

What might be a seed today may be the largest tree in a community 300 years from now. 

Like in the beginning stages of creating your end of life plan, information, notes and ideas are written down. 

These are then all gathered and organised in a coherent method in forming the basis of having a fully practical end of life plan. 

What was notes is now a plan that serves a much greater function than just arranging your dealings after death. 

It brings security, stability and a sense of support for your family after you’re gone. 

Just as a tree can last for decades, an end of life plan can ensure your legacy. 

leaving wishes for loved ones, ensuring how you’ll be remembered or protecting the achievements you’ve made in your life. An end of life plan allows you to forge your legacy for years after you’re gone.  

If you haven’t already done so, getting your end of life plan started can seem like a large task when starting from a blank slate. 

Much like the tree flourishing in its local habitat with others, there is a community of like minded individuals. See below to see passionate group of individuals who help others create their end of life plan. 

A Community of Like Minded Individuals 

You can check out the Before I Go End Of Life Conversations Community here, on Facebook. You’ll find like minded individuals who will not only help you grow, but also will help you grow your end of life plan and bring relief, reassurance and rewards to yourself and your family.

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Use the Before I Go Method to create an End of Life Plan in 10 straightforward steps – without losing focus and giving up!

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Ask What Their Understanding Of The Situation Is This is an obvious question when you think about it, but it is very often overlooked in these days of the medicalization of dying and death. The more common situation is that someone is told what is wrong with them, and assumptions are made as to what this means. In particular, the assumption that the patient wants to be kept alive (sometimes at seemingly all costs) can often get in the way of what that person may actually want. As a relative or friend, you may be in a better position to simply ask ‘what do you understand is happening to you?’ When I asked that of a friend who was dying in 2014, she said she knew she was coming to the end, and she accepted that. But she wanted her body to get a move on – she was finding the slowly drawn out nature of her death to be quite a challenge. She was also quite clear she wanted a certain medication to be stopped, and another started. Finally, she told me she had said all that needed to be said, and that she was ready to go. This conversation helped me to be with her during this time. Be Willing To Accept What Is Happening To Them It can often be the case that family members are the ones who are most distressed about their loved one dying. Hence the ironic situation sometimes heard of when the one who is dying ends up comforting the one being left behind. It can really help a dying person if you are able to simply acknowledge anything they want to say, accepting it without denial. This means you will have to come to terms with it yourself, putting their needs ahead of yours. It’s not uncommon for those who are closest to the dying person to actively want them to die, so that their suffering is ended. I remember simply wanting my late husband to be out of pain, and free from a body that just was not working any longer. I knew it would be difficult for me without him, but when you love someone, you don’t want them to be suffering, even if it means it will be harder for you. Listen For The Metaphors Often a dying person will ‘give a message’ to a close loved one, in such a way that only that person can understand it. Iit is often a message demonstrating their understanding of what is happening. Because I had read lots of stories of this happening, I was very aware when Philip told me he wanted to watch what had been his favourite TV show, Countdown. By this time he had been in hospital for 6 weeks, and had been told there was nothing more that could be done. He was too ill to be moved, so we knew the end was coming soon. He said he wanted to watch Countdown, a popular British programme focusing on numbers and word games. Wanting to watch TV at all was very unusual as he hadn’t requested this for the whole of the previous weeks. But when I heard that he wanted to watch ‘Countdown’, I knew he was telling me that he was ‘counting down’. I found this to be very comforting – the fact that I knew he knew what was happening helped me to be calm for the next couple of days as he became weaker and weaker, less awake and unable to speak. This is a time for tenderness, open hearts and respect shown to all concerned; and it is made easier when we are able to talk honestly and openly about dying, about death and about grief. It is only when those topics are forbidden in some way, or that we are frightened of them, that problems arise. Naturally conversing in this way is part of a good end of life, and part of any plan that is made for that end. I go into this in much more depth in my book, Before I Go, inviting you to start conversations now about this subject, regardless of whether you are caring for someone who is dying or not. The more we become comfortable with this kind of conversation, the easier it will be to accept what is the one thing that will happen to us all. Learn More If you’d like to learn more, and get your End Of Life Plan completed (If you haven't already) check out the Before I Go Method here. Also, if you’d like to check out my book Before I Go, you can do so by clicking here.

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