4 tips to dealing with the effects of missing someone you love
Missing your Mum or your Dad after they have died is as natural as anything, especially if they have played a large part in your life, such as if you had been caring for them. The grief comes with a big slam, catches you sideways, and tosses and turns you…Read Full Post
How Do I Keep Funeral Costs Down?
How do I keep funeral costs down? The perennial question for many. Here’s a familiar story: “I don’t want to pay that amount of money for something I don’t want!” I screamed these words to the funeral director who sat opposite me on the sofa two days after my husband…Read Full Post
What if You Died Today? 3 Quick (and Powerful!) Steps to Ease the Burden on Your Family
Paradoxically, when we are willing to face the end, we find ourselves able to appreciate being here, now, more fully. In other words, facing the end enables more joy right now; more pleasure and more satisfaction. Find out 3 simple things you can do to get prepared.Read Full Post
Love-Giver or Love-Taker? 3 Tips for a Healthy Personality Balance
If you had died yesterday, what would you have lived your life as? A love-giver or a love-taker? Are you willing to change your demeanour toward life and try to be more open to giving?Read Full Post
What’s Age Got To Do With It?
Jane chats to Suzanne Noble chats about her mission to help others to make end of life plans.Read Full Post
9 Unique Ways to Remember Your Loved Ones
Walking in a beautiful memorial park in Coventry, England, dedicated to the huge numbers of men killed in both World Wars, I felt the peace in the air. Remembrance is an important part of death, and there are lots of ways you can do itRead Full Post
How do I create a ritual?
I didn’t know what to do – only that it was important to me to do something.”Shall we gather about coffee time tomorrow morning? And each of us say something?” I tentatively suggested…Read Full Post
7 Things Learnt After Cleaning Out of a Home to Settle an Estate
My Facebook friend Shirley Johnson recently shared her experience of clearing out a family home to settle an estate. Read her valuable experiences and tips for how to avoid unnecessary time and hassle.Read Full Post
7 ways To Help Maintain Your Independence As You Age
In my recent survey, the issue of being a burden, or maintaining your independence as you age was the one thing that most people mentioned. Find out what you can do right now to help yourself in the future.Read Full Post
Dead good help for carers
The Forres Gazette showcases Before I Go Solutions’ new social enterprise: Dead Good Cake ‘n Chat.Read Full Post
How do I let go of unnecessary stuff?
How on earth does anyone ever actually manage to let go of the unnecessary stuff that lies around in the house? I’ve got some suggestions for you…Read Full Post
Short Video Series on End of Life Planning
In a series of five video chats with Sixty And Me founder Margaret Manning, Jane takes a detailed and sympathetic look at the challenges of making a good end of life plan.Read Full Post
Death ‘Could’ Happen To You Too!
After my husband died in 2011, I became bound up with the idea that death could happen to me too. If a cancer diagnosis had come out of the blue for him, it could indeed happen to me too. The next thought, on the heels of that one, was ‘what…Read Full Post
How To Keep Someone Alive In Your Heart
Just because someone dies, does not mean you forget them – on the contrary they stay alive in your heart for as long as you want or need them to. That’s what was happening last week when I attended a charity evening run by Moray Business Women, the local networking…Read Full Post
Overwhelming feelings at Xmas
Thinking ahead to Christmas Day, or whichever day you celebrate in your faith, overwhelming feelings can easily arise when you think of the empty chair at the meal table; or no need to buy a present any more; or no present to look forward to receiving. Your heart is a…Read Full Post
When Your Parents Die, What Happens?
Someone said to me recently that when your parents die, if they are old, have led a good life, and are ready to go, then you don’t grieve so much. I have recently discovered both the truth and untruth of this, when my Dad died on 25th September, and then…Read Full Post
International Therapist Magazine, Autumn 2018
Jane’s article Working With Terminally Ill Clients, First published in International Therapist, the membership magazine of the FHT (www.fht.org.uk). You can read it online here or read the PDFRead Full Post
Goldie Magazine, Autumn 2018
Jane’s article in a new glossy magazine for the over 40s Click on the pictures to read the articleRead Full Post
When Your Partner Is Dying, What Do You Say?
Here’s an extract from an article I’ve just had published in NextAvenue.org. It contains many helpful suggestions for how to start and maintain a conversation when someone you love is dying, as well as tips on how to prepare well for the end, when it comes. You really are alive…Read Full Post
Next Avenue Article, October 2018
“End of life conversations bring clarity and comfort” When Your Partner Is Dying What Do You Say? Article by Jane on Next Avenue: public media’s first and only national journalism service for America’s booming older population. You can read it hereRead Full Post
Zestful Aging – with Nicole Christina
A different kind of interview, covering how avoidance of this subject is not working as well as it has doneRead Full Post
What Happens When You Don’t Leave a Will
Aretha Franklin didn’t leave a last will and testament. What was she thinking of? Well, I assume she wasn’t thinking. Her lawyer is reported as saying he spoke to her repeatedly about having a last will and testament or a trust, and she always said she would do it, but…Read Full Post
Silver Tent Radio with Debra Sofia Magdalene
Listen to Jane talking about positive aspects of deathRead Full Post
Positive Aspects Of Preparing For Death
Today, I’m sharing an interview on Silver Tent Radio with Debra Sofia Magdalene. Listen in if you want to hear: about whether your body is useful, or harmful, in organ donation what living wakes are what death cleaning is and when to start and much more! Click here to listen…Read Full Post
Life Passion & Business podcast
This podcast is about Jane story it’s about that journey that she went on with her partner Philip, and it’s about what came out of it, and it’s about how you too can discover what it is about yourself that makes his life so valuable.Read Full Post
Dessert Highland Discs – With Laura Bruce
Those of you in the UK will probably know of the famous Desert Island Discs on BBC Radio 4; this radio show is similar in format but crucially (and perhaps essentially in the colder climes of a Highland island, PUDDING – ie dessert) – can be taken with you!Read Full Post
Breakfast With Erica – 12Radio
Listen to a fascinating conversation I had with Erica from Breakfast with Erica on 12radio.Read Full Post
What Is a Body?
From Before I Go: The Essential Guide to Creating A Good End of Life Plan. Chapter 7: What Is A Body? In many Western countries, when you see a closed coffin at a funeral, it can be a shock. Imagining the person you loved in there is not always a…Read Full Post
What If You Knew You’d Be the Last To…?
What if you knew you’d be the last to touch someone? If you were taking tickets, for example, at the theatre, tearing them, giving back the ragged stubs, you might take care to touch that palm, brush your fingertips along the life line’s crease. When a man…Read Full Post
Seven Reasons To Bother Doing an End of Life Plan
1. You fall ill or have an accident, having assumed that your next of kin will be able to take care of you. The term next of kin often means your nearest blood relative. In the case of a married couple or a civil partnership it usually means their husband…Read Full Post
Why Bother Doing An End Of Life Plan?
Let’s face it, there is never going to be a good time to address anything to do with dying, death or grief. When you’re fit and healthy, the last thing on your mind is the end of your life. However, this is actually the very time to take your head…Read Full Post
Wills, Weddings and Updating Your Documentation
The royal wedding here in the UK has been a huge topic in the media of all kinds these last few weeks. However, I can bet that hardly anyone has been also talking to Prince Harry and Meghan about a crucial thing that needs to happen when a couple get…Read Full Post
3 Things to Do When You’re Afraid Of Your Spouse Dying First
It was my greatest fear. Having had no children, the thought of my husband dying first and me being left alone in the world was something I simply couldn’t bear. Even if I had had children, the idea of my best friend, lover, business partner and companion leaving me behind…Read Full Post
Top Regrets of the Dying – How To Avoid This One
One of the top 5 regrets of the dying is ‘I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings’. Given that we never know when our life is going to come to an end, it’s a really good idea to not only express our feelings, but by doing that,…Read Full Post
Text of How To Do A Good Death TedX Talk
For anyone who is hard of hearing, or who prefers to read instead of watch a video, here’s the transcript of my Ted X talk, How To Do A Good Death. There’s an elephant in the room. In fact, there’s an elephant in the room in every house in the…Read Full Post
Bereavement Leave – It Could Be Possible This Becomes Paid
Paid bereavement leave from work? Did you know that employers are obliged to offer compassionate leave, but it doesn’t have to be paid? And yet many bereaved employees return to work well before they feel they are ready, due to financial pressures. Grief Recovery Method have launched a petition asking…Read Full Post
What is a deathie and are you one? (The Groundswell Project Interview)
I had the pleasure of interviewing Jessie Williams of The Groundswell Project, based in Australia, a few weeks ago. Jessie shares her poignant and beautiful story that demonstrates her passion to this project, which is working in a similar way to Before I Go Solutions. …Read Full Post
The Cosmic Elbow Strikes Again!
Ever heard of the cosmic elbow? My husband used to talk about this a lot. Life tends to give us little nudges, and if we don’t pay attention, it often gives us bigger ones. First of all, it usually is a prod, just enough to make us pay attention to…Read Full Post
8 Pointers to a Very Different Kind of New Year Resolution
A very different kind of new year’s resolution: I want to let you into a secret (every year it used to be the same for me) – I would set a resolution (or several), think “this time it will be different,” and I would start well. Slowly, though, the…Read Full Post
Moving from Scared to Sacred
Moving from Scared to Sacred with Patty Burgess Brecht February’s interview in the BIG Interview Series is with Patty Burgess, President of Possibility with doingdeathdifferently.com. Patty is a friend and colleague, has participated on my Before I Go Programme and is one wise, wild woman (so right up my street!)…Read Full Post
What is a Good Goodbye
A Good Goodbye with Gail Rubin What is a good goodbye? Gail Rubin, author and speaker, tells us about the need to shop before you drop, the effect of mercury in cremated remains, and the link between self-esteem and facing up to the end of life. Plus a bit of…Read Full Post
How To Answer the Big Questions of Death When You Are Alive
How to Answer the Big Questions of Death When Still Alive is the name of the latest podcast from a wonderful site called Death Goes Digital. I was interviewed by the charming founder of Death Goes Digital, Peter Billingham, last week, and we had a most engaging conversation, including what…Read Full Post
Health: How To Make Good Decisions Towards the End of Life
How to make health decisions towards the end of life will depend on all sorts of things – not just how you have lived your life health-wise, but also circumstances at the time, the support you have around you, and the quality of your life at the time. I recently…Read Full Post
Chocolate skulls? High fashion skeletons? Halloween or Day of the Dead?
Eighteen months ago I had to cancel an event in our local town because of complaints about a coffin in a window display we had arranged (read about it in my blog post at the time). How different this is to the natural celebrations that occur with the Day of…Read Full Post
Taking a Child to a Funeral: Yes or No?
I watched my friend’s 5-year old peer down into the tiny grave. Surrounded by a group of somber people in the small churchyard, some sobbing, he was curious to see what was in the bottom of this hole in the ground. We were gathered to say goodbye to a tragedy…Read Full Post
Record, Write and Relay Your Life, Right Now – 7 Crucial Reasons to Do So
Record, write, relay your life right now? Why now? Well, here’s a story as to why. Looking at my Dad lying in the hospital bed, unable to talk due to the recent stroke he’d had, I could only be thankful that some years ago we had had a particular conversation. …Read Full Post
It’s my birthday today! What’s more, I have moved very definitely out of the realm of middle age, as I am now 60. Gulp. I know that age doesn’t mean anything, I know that you are as young as you feel (true!) and I love Wayne Dyer’s words ‘If you…Read Full Post