Knowledge Hub

Record, Write and Relay Your Life, Right Now – 7 Crucial Reasons to Do So

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Record, write, relay your life right now?  Why now? Well, here’s a story as to why. Looking at my Dad lying in the hospital bed, unable to talk due to the recent stroke he’d had, I could only be thankful that some years ago we had had a particular conversation. …

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Celebrating Today

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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It’s my birthday today!  What’s more, I have moved very definitely out of the realm of middle age, as I am now 60. Gulp. I know that age doesn’t mean anything, I know that you are as young as you feel (true!) and I love Wayne Dyer’s words ‘If you…

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The 3 A’s of Living a Life of Joy

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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1. Accept It took quite a couple of years to pluck up the courage to try internet dating after my husband died. At first even the thought of it was horrifying, and my first visit to a dating site ended after just a minute or so But as time passed,…

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Being Here Now

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Last week I thought my Dad was on death’s door after his stroke, as did the doctors. So we have all been surprised that he is still with us, and even eating (this time last week he couldn’t swallow). I’ve been spending time with both him and my Mum but…

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Death At Work

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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A death at work is devastating in different ways from at home. If you run a business of any kind, listen in to this conversation as Sheela tells her story of what went wrong, why and what needed to happen to help make the situation better.

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Making Time for Dying

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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This last two weeks has been a bit challenging with my stepdaughter dying – those of you in my Facebook group will have heard this, and that’s also why I didn’t send an email this week. You can join here if you want to: https://www.facebook.com/groups/beforeIgo/ In fact, I am going to…

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what to say when someone doesn't want to talk to you

What to say when someone doesn’t want to talk to you

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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How to talk to someone who doesn’t want to talk to you You might have a spouse or partner who doesn’t want to talk to you about end of life matters. It’s important for the person left behind to know what to do after they’ve gone. How can you start…

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Afraid Of Your Spouse Dying First? Open this…

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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The idea of my husband, best friend, lover, business partner and companion leaving me behind was unbearable. It was my greatest fear. Having had no children, the thought of him dying first and me being left alone in the world was something I simply couldn’t bear. So I didn’t think…

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5 Questions to Ask When Someone Is Actually Dying

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Have you noticed we often use euphemisms about death?  In my last blog on this, just recently I was advocating ‘telling it like it is’, and using words such as death, dying, die. But the fact is, when you come to meet someone whom you know probably has only weeks…

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Feeling Sad and Glad at the Same Time – Really?

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Someone on Facebook said ‘my dad passed away this morning at 3.30am. I’m so relieved he isn’t in pain anymore. I’m so sad at the same time’. Is it really possible to be feeling two such strong feelings at the same time? Once upon a time I would have said…

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Celebrating in the Dark

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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In a world of opposites, there is both darkness and light. Hard to believe sometimes, when you’re seemingly locked in a room without being able to see the light switch. But it is possible to find it – to find light in the dark. And not only that, but to…

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How To Be When Someone You Know Dies

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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It’s difficult, let’s face it. Someone you know has died. Relatives whom you may or may not know will be grieving. You maybe are grieving, too. How on earth do you acknowledge this?  Here’s an excerpt from my book Gifted By Grief: A True Story of Cancer, Loss and Rebirth,…

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What We Talk About When We Talk About Death

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Pushing up the daisies. Kicked the bucket. Passed on. You name it, we have a euphemism for anything to do with someone dying or who has died. Is this us trying to deny it happens?  Is it because we feel embarrassed or disconcerted? Is it because we would rather just…

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A Good Goodbye

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Gail Rubin runs a wonderful website and business called A Good Goodbye based in California, the name of which tells you a lot about what she focuses on, which is one of the reasons I wanted to interview her. In our interview we spoke about ‘matchings, hatchings and dispatchings’ – a…

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Advance Directives: 5 Essential Things You Need to Know

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Marie’s son was distraught. He had told his Mother he would have the doctors do everything they could – but now they were saying that they didn’t know how long she would be able to breathe on her own without the tube, nor did they know how long she might…

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What’s the News Hardly Anyone Wants to Admit To?

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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There’s actually not a lot that we can say we know for sure about life, but this is one of them. We get born, and then some time later, we die. Yes, it may be unpalatable news and uncomfortable at that, but it is TRUE! It really is.   What’s…

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TedX Talk – How To Do A Good Death

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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In this moving and poignant talk, Jane relates her experience of helping her husband have a “good death” and what she learnt from the process – and how it can help us all prepare for that 100% chance – the chance that we might die some day.

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7 Practical Ways to Set Yourself Up For a Good Death

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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I never thought about death much, other than as a concept, until my husband was diagnosed with cancer in 2010. Then it made its entrance with a bang. Even though he was 65, it felt far too young to be contemplating death. We learnt a lot about each other, about…

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Moving From Scared to Sacred

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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This month’s interview in the BIG Interview Series is with Patty Burgess, President of Possibility with doingdeathdifferently.com. Patty is a friend and colleague, has participated on my Before I Go Programme, and is one wise, wild woman (so right up my street!)   In this short interview she speaks movingly…

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Arguably the Best Valentine’s Present You Can Give A Loved One!

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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The best Valentine present? Really?  Well, I’m sure you know someone, or know of someone, who’s had an administrative nightmare after a family member has died, all because they didn’t sort their affairs out before they popped their clogs. A colleague of mine, Heather, had that experience when her Dad died…

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Love Knows No Boundaries – What’s That Got To Do With Dying, Death and Grief?

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Love Know Knows No Boundaries is a recording of a talk I gave to a wonderful audience at St Brides Church, Liverpool.  I begin with a reading of the prologue of my book Gifted By Grief, so if you want a taste of this, listen in to the first few…

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What’s Grief Got to Do With Love? (Different From What You Might Think)

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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What’s grief got to do with love? Well, it’s obvious isn’t it?  For instance, there is a very well-known saying from Queen Elizabeth II: “Grief is the price we pay for love.” Because we do grieve much more over those we love, than those we either didn’t know so well,…

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Before I Go Quiz

By Simon Duncan
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The Time is Now! What To Do To Be Fully Alive

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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This short piece ‘The Time Is Now’ was written by my friend Bob German of  Young At Any Age. When he sent it to me I just wanted to share it.  Full stop. It is so wise. All the statements are summed up in the last one. So how can you…

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Death Chicks – Grief Series Live Stream, November 2016

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Loss of a Husband leads to End of Life Planning Learn how one woman (me) from Scotland is using her loss as a catalyst to help others prepare for death. 55 minutes

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Talking About Deliberate Ending of a Life…Is it Suicide or Not?

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Deliberate ending of a life? Doesn’t that mean suicide? Well, perhaps not. It’s a very challenging subject to talk about, but I feel it’s one that many secretly think about; it just comes out in forms like ‘we treat our pets better than we treat out elderly citizens’, or ‘I…

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Is There Room For An Abundance of Emotions in Your Life?

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Abundance. Dying. End of Life. Plentifulness. Not words you would normally think of together. But there’s often an abundance of laughter on my Before I Go group programmes and workshops. There’s plentiful amounts of stories, some amusing, some poignant, others educational. Then there’s also fear and anxiety and concern, more traditionally words…

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Can Abundance and Dying REALLY Go Together?

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Abundance. Dying. End of Life. Plentifulness. Not words you would normally think of together. But there’s often an abundance of laughter on my Before I Go group programmes and workshops. There’s plentiful amounts of stories, some amusing, some poignant, others educational. Then there’s also fear and anxiety and concern, more traditionally words…

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What It’s Really Like When Someone Dies: One Woman’s Story

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Thank God he’d stopped that awful rattling sound. Now his breaths were even, but with increasingly longer gaps in between. I knew this could go on for some time, but I was pretty surprised when ten minutes later, the gap just went on – and on, and on and on.…

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Cost of Funerals Rising More and More

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Cost of funerals these days is going up. No-one wants to know of course. Until they get a big shock (at a time when they are least able to deal with it). The 2016 Cost of Dying Report from SunLife Insurance shows that:     Just 1% know ALL the…

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5 Reasons Why Death and Divorce Are Not the Same Thing – and 5 Why They Are

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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One day, about 2 years after my husband died, I was at a social occasion with a group of friends I’d known for a while. One of them was suffering the aftermath of a recent divorce, seeing her ex-husband on the arms of a younger woman around town.   “Sorry”,…

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3 Non-Actions To Take When Anxiety, Grief and Not-Knowing Are Your Bed Partners

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Fear gripped me, like a vice around my guts.  I treaded water in the swimming pool in which I had arrived for an early morning dip, before the heat of the day became too much. My friend had called from the terrace rooftop of the villa in which I was…

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What Sort of Impact Do You Create in The World?

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Muhammad Ali made a huge impact in the world throughout his life in many ways, not just his boxing. But he also made an impact in his death too – he had stated beforehand just how he wanted his funeral to be. Not only did this mean his executor and…

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Passwords – Keep Private or Share?

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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In the UK’s Saturday Guardian, Adam Golightly writes an anonymous column (Widower of the Parish) recounting his challenges each week as a new widower and father to two children, since his wife Helen died in early April. This week, he faced another apparently small, but in experience huge, problem. The…

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One Simple Step to Integrating Loss, Endings, or Death into Your Life Right Now

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Life, it could be argued, is loss made manifest. From the moment a child is born, there are moments of loss – loss of who they were as a baby, a toddler, a young teenager. It continues into older age, with loss of interest in what fascinated us when younger,…

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Barefoot Sanctuary Talk, Edinburgh, March 2016

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Love Knows No Boundaries – a 45 minute talk at the Barefoot Sanctuary, near Edinburgh; one of my first on this topic!

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Moray Business Women Showcase, March 2016

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Speaking at the Moray Business Women Showcase event on March 16th 2016.

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Planning for the death of a loved one – SAGA March 2016

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Jane talks to SAGA Magazine about Gifted By Grief and outlines some of the most important questions from The List.

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Why What You Say to Someone Who Is Grieving Is So Crucial

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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“Everyone’s grieving is unique, and only luck helps us strike the right note in talking with the bereaved. ” So said Mariella Frostrup in last week’s Observer magazine. Yes, grief is definitely unique in it’s expression through each person. But do we really depend on luck if we are talking…

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Grieving, Guilt and Letting Go: 3 Pointers That Help

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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When your loved one dies initially, your world is consumed with thoughts of them. You expect that, others expect that, and while it is extremely painful, there is a kind of appropriateness about it all. After all, it IS painful when someone dies. But further on, what happens when you…

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5 Tips on How to Cope With Christmas When Your Loved One Has Died

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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How to cope with Christmas? Even the thought of it can be a nightmare when a loved one has died, and especially a partner, child or other person you were living with. I created this infographic as a quick way to help you with managing not just the day itself, but…

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Interview with Glenn Moore, November 2015

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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An illuminating conversation with Glenn Moore. It’s all great (not that I am biased, of course!), but particularly check out at 29.38 where I talk about feelings coming and going, and at about 44 minutes in where I answer the question: ‘have you come to any practical understanding of the perennial question…

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Death, Grief and Paris Attacks

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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When something like the Paris attacks happen, the words ‘gift’ and ‘grief’ absolutely do not sit well together. They are not meant to. How on earth can there be a gift when someone dies? It’s not possible. In the moment, there is only shock (even if you have been prepared for…

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Trusting, Waiting, and then Taking a Step Forward

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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We can relatively easily see that loss might hold a gift for others. But when it happens to us, in the face of unspeakable sorrow, pain or grief, it’s not so easy to see any gifts at all. In fact the idea just goes out the window as you feel…

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3 Tips on How to Cope With Grief

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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No 1: Open Your Doors to All Feelings Imagine you are a house. Grief (in the form of fear, anger, guilt, sorrow, sadness, despair, you name it) comes knocking at the front door. The instinct is to lock the door and block up the windows to keep it out. But…

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What Happens (To Your Work) When You Die?

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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When you are self-employed, or have a small business, the matter of your own death is a bit more complex than if you are an employee. For instance, if you are a health practitioner, or a professional who has clients, what would happen to them if you die suddenly?  Or…

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Death Chicks Show – Interview, October 2015

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Patty, host of the show said: “We love the openness and how she shares. Jane’s book is like an invitation to explore the places that even SHE says she didn’t want to go, and then she did.  That is what I mean by a guide or a way-shower.  She goes…

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Can Acceptance Really Bring Freedom?

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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  Rant, rage, stomp, fume, blame, criticise, complain, moan. So often this is what we do instead of accepting how things are. It’s as if that very action of accepting will condone the situation, or let someone ‘get off scot free’, or because we don’t know what else to do.…

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Could grief REALLY be hiding a gift for you?

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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Queuing in the fish and chip shop in the high street of the small Scottish town where I live, I scowled at a man ahead of me in the queue. He was overweight, fiddling with his cigarette packet, and aged about mid-50s. What was wrong with that? Everything! How dare…

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Daily Record Magazine

By Jane Duncan Rogers
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“Death has taught me to treat life like a gift.” Great article published in the Daily Record magazine today, 12th September: You can read it here: http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/real-life/cancer-widow-hopes-book-experiences-6425582  

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