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The social enterprise that empowers you to design and create your own end-of-life plan

How to Create Your End-of-Life Plan

Using the Before I Go Method,
Create an End of Life Plan
in 10 Straightforward Steps -
Without Losing Focus and Giving Up!

The New Programme Begins on 2nd September.

Please enter your email here to be the first to receive details

HOW TO STOP WORRYING

Mum, Dad and my husband - all no longer with us

If you’ve ever worried about losing your independence and maybe becoming a burden on your children, you’ll be familiar with how horrible that thought is and how tempting it is just to ignore it and hope it won’t happen for you

 

You might have experienced having to take care of elderly parents who have not prepared for their end of life, or their death, and so you know just how debilitating it can be when you have to sort their affairs out afterwards

 

You may be bothered about the fact that it’ll be your children or friends who have to take care of all your stuff, if you don’t get a move on now. But even so, you just can’t get things sorted

 

Or you’re concerned about making the wrong decision about your own end of life – what if you change your mind?

Just the thought of all the stuff you have that someone will have to sort through can create overwhelm – you know you need to do it, but that in itself creates stuckness, and the end result is that nothing happens, nothing gets sorted, and you feel drained at the thought of it all.

 

And anyway, you just don’t have enough time to do all this – who does?

Well, just imagine …

 

  • Looking round your house and seeing more space, less stuff, and that what you DO have is organized systematically
  • Putting your fingers on your death folder easily, knowing exactly that what is in there is everything that will be needed after you’ve gone
  • Your relief, knowing that all the administrative stress involved for your family after you have died has been taken care of
  • Knowing your family will only have to follow your instructions as to what you want after you’ve gone
  • Feeling relieved and at peace, because you’ve done all this, and all that has to happen now is a regular review
Modern white leather sofa with interesting coffee table

However, if you know this is a good idea,

but do nothing about it,

then you also know that you will continue to…

  • Fret that you haven’t done it, and that it is possible you could just kick the bucket at any time, and what would happen then…
  • Worry that one of your biggest fears will come true, and you will be a burden on your family in your later years
  • Feel guilty that you’re not taking action – but justify it by saying you just don’t know where to start, or you don’t have enough time, or you can’t decide what you want
  • Be stuck in the same place, nothing changing or moving, clutter, stuff and papers all around you, and it ultimately impacting negatively on your mental health, if not your physical.
  • Have your energy sapped bit by bit because you know what you should be doing and yet you’re not doing it.

 

And all that time you could be spending with the special people in your life, doing what you love together, and instead, you’re worrying (even mildly) that you haven’t done what you know you need to do.

One of the top five regrets of the dying is not spending

enough quality time with those they love.

Memories2

Not taking action when you know you ought to means you are impinging on that quality time. You don’t want to be like that, do you?

This is where I come in...

My name is Jane Duncan Rogers, also known as the End-of-Life Lady, and I help older people and those who have had a brush with death in some way to get their act together and complete a comprehensive end-of-life plan.

I’m doing this because once I came very close to death. Not my own, but my husband’s.

 

Chinon Jane & Philip

In 2010 Philip was diagnosed
with stomach cancer

 

Neither of us knew anything about end-of-life plans, but we did know about wills. A few months after the diagnosis, we got our wills amended. It felt theoretical because he had been given a fairly good prognosis, if the operation was successful (which of course we felt sure it would be).

But it wasn’t successful.  They did not get all the cancer out, and so we were faced with the fact that he was going to die, and it was going to be sooner than later.

During this time, we received an email from a friend, Barbara. She insisted we answer the long list of questions in it, stuff like ‘what kind of coffin do you want?’, ‘how do you want your body dressed?’ and ‘what are your passwords? ‘ – I mean, really specific things.

We put it off.

Another email arrived.

We put it off again, neither of us willing to face up to the bluntness of the questions.

Yet another email arrived.

Finally, I told Philip we needed to just answer the darn things and get her off our back.

We sat up in bed one Saturday morning with the laptop. I asked him the questions and he gave me his answers. Imagine our surprise when an hour or two in we realized we were quite enjoying ourselves!   And by the end of the morning we felt a distinct sense of satisfaction and achievement, and immensely close and loving. So odd – we were discussing his death but the love that this unleashed that weekend was enormous. We put the list away and rarely referred to it again.

Fast forward three years...

My first book, Gifted By Grief: A True Story of Cancer, Loss and Rebirth was published. In it I told the story above. Readers flocked to tell me they needed to answer those questions too.

Cover 300

At this point, it might have daunted me if I had not had 25+ years of experience in the therapeutic world.  I originally trained with the famous Louise L Hay who wrote You Can Heal Your Life, and who started major mind-body-spirit publisher Hay House. Then I went on to train as a counsellor and a coach (now I am Life and Death Coach – I help people with their ongoing lives as well as the end of them), and so I was able to easily take the next step:

I went ahead and organized a local workshop.

It sold out!

I put on another and the same thing happened.

I took the course online. Eventually, I realized that this needed to be organized properly and so I founded the not-for-profit company:-

Before I Go Solutions.   

(Our aim is to have end-of-life plans become as commonplace as birth plans).

Just a little bit of a big vision!

What feels great for me is that it’s almost like Philip is working alongside me in this. He is still making an impact in the world, which was important to him because it was down to his courage to admit he was dying and to answer the questions, that has allowed the Before I Go Method® to be born.

Woo hoo!

It means that something good has come out of him dying so early (he was only 65) and that is very important to me.  

So what is the Before I Go Method® exactly?

Method logo PNG

It’s a way to attend to stuff that is difficult in the first place (remember how much Philip and I put it off, and he was only going to be living a matter of months.  You would think we would have been highly motivated, but no – that’s because doing your end-of-life plan is not necessarily an easy thing to do).

 

But it is a courageous thing to do.

  • It enables you to get going on the things you’ve been putting off, freeing up your time and energy for other things you love to do
  • It gives you the background information you need to know in order to make decisions about your personal situation, so you can stop fretting about them and relax more
  • It keeps you focused so you can take small steps in the right direction, feeling a sense of achievement
  • It helps you organize your papers/ideas/stuff into manageable amounts, lessening the overwhelm

It also brings you:

  • Relief (cos you’re finally taking action, whew!)
  • Confidence (cos you’re addressing things you’ve been putting off)
  • Satisfaction (cos you’ve made decisions you’ve found difficult)

It’s also incredibly comforting to know that you are saving your family time and money in the long-term by doing this for them now.

And here’s another benefit that I only discovered very recently.

Mum and Dad

In the autumn of 2018, my mum and dad
died in the same week.

 

It was a huge shock. They had, however, completed their end-of-life plans the previous year. Thank goodness! Because all I and my siblings had to do was exactly what I have pointed out above.

All the decisions were taken out of our hands because they had all been discussed with the family much earlier, and written down, when my parents were still well enough to do this work.

(In the pic above are copies of their plans, an earlier version of the BIG Workbook).  

What I hadn’t realized was how utterly comforting it would be for me to know that they had known that we would carry out their wishes, just as they had told us.

It felt like a last gift I could give them.

Not because it was what they wanted – the comfort was in me knowing that they KNEW we would do it, because it had all been discussed and agreed with beforehand.

So now I have my parents also in on making a contribution to the B.I.G. vision and that actually feels great as well, although as it is so recent I still feel terribly sad that it happened at all.  Even as I wrote this, tears came to visit.  I had to pause, and let them flow. I’ve learnt to breathe, go more slowly, and then the next action will show itself.  And in this case, it is continuing to share with you the next piece of information…

Find out how using the Before I Go Method
can stop you being overwhelmed,
start you being organized, and ensure you get all
your affairs in order for ever!

Would you like to…

 

  • Make 100% sure your family and friends will be properly taken care of after you’ve died?
  • Minimize the chance of arguments breaking out between family members re who gets what precious memento, or what decisions to make about the funeral?
  • Feel satisfied that if you popped your clogs now, you’ve got everything up to date, and tidy for those coming after you?

The New Programme Begins on 2nd September.

Please enter your email here to be the first to receive details

How Does This 10-Module Course Work?

 

On the Monday of the first week, you will receive access to Module 1. Your aim is to watch/listen in your own time and begin to take action before you join the B.I.G. Method Coaching Call on the Thursday of the same week at 6pm UK time (10am PST, 1pm EST).

 There’s a total of 10 fortnightly coaching calls over 4 months,  of up to an hour long each (that includes a break over the Christmas period).

You’ll also receive a complimentary copy of the Before I Go Workbook, which has all the questions in that you could ever need to answer, plus spaces for you to write in your answers. It’s a fillable PDF so you can complete it on your device, or you can of course print it out.

 

You get access to the private Facebook group for those who are taking (or who have taken) this class already, whether in person or online.

You receive recordings of all the coaching calls so if you miss any you can simply listen in later.

Each module contains a video with slides of me talking you through the topic, plus some PDF’s you can print out (and will be handy in your death folder) and MP3’s you can listen to.

None of the videos are longer than 12 minutes, and nearly everything else is just a couple of pages to read, or 5 minutes or so to listen to. Altogether, any module could be watched/read/listened to in half an hour.

Of course then there is your homework, and how long that takes will depend on your personal situation.

But the great thing is that you have the

live coaching call with one of my

trained facilitators each fortnight too. 

Here you can bring your questions, comments, ponderings, stories and reflections. You can benefit from others’ learning and sharings. You can use this call as a spur to you taking action, and report in with what you have taken action on. Or you can ask for inspiration and information to help you move forward, if you find you need that.

Here's the full course content

Module 1: Your Life and Death Values

You can’t make any decisions about how you ideally want your end of life to be without knowing what your life values are. In this module, we’ll look at those with a view to helping you get clear about these. You’ll discover:

  • Your values: what they are, why they are so essential to your death and what to do about them
  • The 3 most important practical information pieces you can give your loved ones
  • Why knowing just what you want in your last days is crucial
Values

Module 2: Creating Your Advance Directive (Living Wills)

 An advance decision allows you to state whether you want life-prolonging treatment or not in your last weeks/days, if you can’t speak for yourself. In this module, you'll find:

  • 3 crucial questions that need to be asked before you write anything
  • How to use your values to create this document
  • A template to personalise your wishes
SheilaKitzinger

Module 3: Looking After the Legals

Does talk of powers of attorney and wills make you yawn, or feel guilty? Here’s how to make it easier, even enjoyable, and still get what you need to do, done.

  • 13 important questions to ask your lawyer to get the most value for your money
  • The single most important thing to do to make your wishes known to your loved ones
  • The 1 alarming legal point that has to be taken care of, but most people don't know about
Cropped image of hand signing Last Will and Testament document

Module 4: Lessening the Household Headaches  

Imagine what you would do if your spouse or partner suddenly wasn’t around? Would you know where to find documents, how to operate an appliance, what insurances you have? Take action in this module to avoid this. Discover:

  • Why it's important that privacy and secrecy is not so private or secret
  • What only you know about your household that needs to be shared
  • 3 essential elements of machines, appliances and vehicles
Bench

Module 5: Your Digital Life 

Who knows how to get into your phone or your computer? If you weren’t here, then how would anyone know who to contact if you had died yesterday? Yes, your digital life lives on – unless you take action now. In this module, you'll find out:

  • Why you need to share your passwords
  • How to plan your digital legacy
  • The 5 steps of taking care of your digital presence
Skeletons

Section 2: After Death

Module 6: Disposal of bodies

Whatever your beliefs as to what happens after death, there is always going to be a body for others to take care of – and this is a legal requirement in all countries. Find out:

  • The 9 ways bodies can be taken care of
  • How to choose just what's right for you
  • Body at home or not? How to decide
coffin as coffin

Module 7: Funerals and Rituals

It's easy to underestimate the power of ritual these days, but in this module we explore why it's so important.

  • The 3 essentials of a good ritual
  • 25 questions to ask to make sure what you want happens
  • How to choose who will conduct your funeral
funeral-1572863_1920

Module 8: Undertaker or DIY?

Did you know you don’t have to have a funeral director? But you do need to know a few other things if you decide on this option. In this module, discover:

  • Who does what and how to choose
  • 5 things you need to have prepared in advance for a DIY funeral
  • How to keep costs down
funeral-director-1823425_1920

Module 9: Death Cleaning (aka decluttering)

Death cleaning is different from ordinary decluttering. But if YOU don’t do it now, then someone else (who???) will have to. Discover:

  • The 3 pointers to make death cleaning easier
  • How overwhelm stops you and what to do about it
  • How to select what you want keep in a manageable way
Pile of boxes junk inside a residential garage.

Module 10: Obituaries/Eulogies & Keeping It All Updated

You could just disappear off the world with hardly anyone knowing. Or you could take charge of how you go.

  • The 3 main things you'll want to be remembered for and how to make sure that happens
  •  Why writing your obituary benefits you now
  • How to easily keep your end-of-life plan updated
Memories2

Full Money Back Guarantee

Jane

If this course does not work for you, I offer a full money back guarantee within the timeline of the course.

Creating an end of life plan requires a commitment from you, it requires dedication and possibly some emotional struggle. The materials, videos and the live calls in the group are there to help you get through that emotional turmoil, and the daily life challenges that block you from just getting things done.

That's just the way it is.

Doing this end-of-life work is about going through the journey, accepting the inevitable, and gaining peace of mind.

I know this work is valuable, from both personal experiences and from hearing others ' tragic stories' when they were left high and dry without any information from their loved one. However, if you do not agree then, of course, you are entitled to a full refund.

Just email with the details why it did not work for you and I will action an immediate refund regardless of the reason.

Course Contents Summarised

10 live coaching calls (hosted by one of my trained coaches)
10 videos, plus PDF’s and MP3’s in each module
The B.I.G. Workbook – your own copy to download or print out (retails at £35)
A Resource Pack of all necessary links
Facebook group – membership of a group dedicated to others doing the same course

 


 

 

The New Programme Begins on 2nd September.

Please enter your email here to be the first to receive details

Thoughts from those that have done the course

"For anyone who has a blended family or has been re-married, this course and workbook is a MUST! Having the “excuse” that I had an assignment from Jane’s course made it easy to open the conversation with my husband, when previously I could not hold his attention for 15 minutes on this topic. And now I feel like I have created a “living document,” not a “death document.”  Patty Burgess Brecht  USA

“One of the joys of doing your course is that you plant the seed of thinking about your own death and little seedlings pop up in unexpected places that lead to a fully grown tree of life. The course was a surprisingly life affirming thing to do and you steered us through it with just the right amount of firmness, laughter and joy whilst also holding the sadness too.”  Jan Morley England

 

"

Thanks so much for the B.I.G. course. You are absolutely brilliant at it and the course is very thorough and well thought out. I love your combination of practical, matter of fact information, plus your loving kindness and care for people’s difficult experiences."  Lisa Mead Scotland

 

"Before I did the BIG Method course I was stalled in my own end of life preparations, and I wanted to gain the courage and the means which I could use in discussions with my loved ones.  Now I’ve finished the course, I’ve completed and updated my Will and Powers of Attorney; begun a systematic sorting, purging, gifting, and donating process, which I expect I will continue for the rest of my life; and chosen a body disposal method, amongst other things. Jane's many stories and organized lessons and videos were exceptionally helpful in this regard, and I will avail myself of the BIG Method’s lessons for the rest of my days". Julie Saeger Nierenberg