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The social enterprise that empowers you to design and create your own end-of-life plan

How to Create Your End-of-Life Plan

Using the Before I Go Method,
Create an End of Life Plan
in 10 Straightforward Steps -
Without Losing Focus,

Getting Overwhelmed or Giving Up!

Worried you might become

a burden on your loved ones?

Mum, Dad and my husband - all no longer with us

 

If you’ve ever worried about losing your independence and maybe becoming a burden on your children, you’ll be familiar with how horrible that thought is and how tempting it is just to ignore it and hope it won’t happen for you

 

You might have experienced having to take care of elderly parents who have not prepared for their end of life, or their death, and so you know just how debilitating it can be when you have to sort their affairs out afterwards

 

You may be bothered about the fact that it’ll be your children or friends who have to take care of all your stuff, if you don’t get a move on now. But even so, you just can’t get things sorted

 

Or you’re concerned about making the wrong decision about your own end of life – what if you change your mind?

Just the thought of all the stuff someone will have to sort through can create overwhelm – you know you need to do it, but that in itself creates stuckness, and the end result is that nothing happens, nothing gets sorted, and you feel drained at the thought of it all. Ghastly!

 

And anyway, you just don’t have enough time to do all this – who does?

Well, just imagine...

  • Looking round your house and seeing more space, less stuff, and that what you DO have is organized systematically
  • Putting your fingers on your death folder easily, knowing exactly that what is in there is everything that will be needed after you’ve gone
  • Your relief, knowing that all the administrative stress involved for your family after you have died has been taken care of
  • Knowing your family will only have to follow your instructions as to what you want after you’ve gone
  • Feeling relaxed and at peace, because you’ve done all this, and all that has to happen now is a regular review

 

However, if you know this is a good idea, but do nothing about it,

then you also know that you will continue to…

  • Feel guilty that you’re not taking action – but justify it by saying you just don’t know where to start, or you don’t have enough time, or you can’t decide what you want
  • Fret that you haven’t done it, and that it is possible you could just kick the bucket at any time, and what would happen then…
  • Worry that one of your biggest fears will come true, and you will be a burden on your family in your later years
  • Be stuck in the same place, nothing changing or moving, clutter, stuff and papers all around you, and it ultimately impacting negatively on your mental health, if not your physical.
  • Have your energy sapped bit by bit because you know what you should be doing and yet you’re not doing it.

 

And all that time you could be spending with the special people in your life, doing what you love together, and instead, you’re have background anxiety going on that you haven’t done what you know you need to do.

 

One of the top five regrets of the dying is not spending enough quality time with those they love.

 

And I'm sure you want as much quality time as possible with your loved ones, don't you?

 

This is where I come in...

 

My name is Jane Duncan Rogers, also known as the End-of-Life Lady, and I help anyone who knows how important this kind of preparation is to get their act together and complete a comprehensive end-of-life plan.

 

I’m doing this because once I came very close to death. Not my own, but my husband’s.

In 2010 Philip was diagnosed
with stomach cancer

Neither of us knew anything about end-of-life plans, but he had been given a fairly good prognosis so long as they got all the tumours out.

 

But the operation wasn’t successful, and we were faced with the fact that he was going to die, and it was going to be sooner than later.

 

During this time, we received an email from a friend, Barbara. She insisted we answer the long list of questions in it, stuff like ‘what kind of coffin do you want?’, ‘how do you want your body dressed?’ and ‘what are your passwords? ‘ – I mean, really specific things.

 

We put it off, it felt like a bit too much. Then another email arrived.

 

We put it off again, neither of us willing to face up to the bluntness of the questions, but after the third email we just needed to answer the darn questions and get her off our back.

 

We sat up in bed one Saturday morning with the laptop. I asked him the questions and we discussed the answers. Imagine our surprise when an hour or two in, we realized we were quite enjoying ourselves!

By the end of the morning we felt a distinct sense of satisfaction and achievement, and immensely close and loving.

So odd – we were discussing his death but the love that was unleashed that weekend was enormous. It felt like we were doing a project together, and we'd been good at doing those!

Fast forward three years...

 

My first book, Gifted By Grief: A True Story of Cancer, Loss and Rebirth was published. In it I told the story above. Readers flocked to tell me they needed to answer those questions too.

 

At this point, it might have daunted me if I had not had 25+ years of experience in the therapeutic world.  I originally trained with the famous Louise L Hay who wrote You Can Heal Your Life, and who started major mind-body-spirit publisher Hay House. Then I went on to train as a counsellor and a coach and so I was able to easily take the next step:

I went ahead and organized a local workshop, which sold out.

I put on another and the same thing happened.

I took the course online. Eventually, I realized that this needed to be organized properly and so I founded the not-for-profit company:-

 

Before I Go Solutions. 

Our aim is to have end-of-life plans become as commonplace as birth plans.

 

Just a little bit of a big vision!

 

What feels great for me is that it’s almost like Philip is working alongside me in this. He is still making an impact in the world, which was important to him because it was down to his courage to admit he was dying and to answer the questions, that has allowed the Before I Go Method® to be born.

 

So what is the Before I Go Method® exactly?

 

It’s a way to attend to stuff that can be difficult in the first place. So it's a course that you can do alone, together with others, and online.

 

  • It enables you to get going on the things you’ve been putting off, freeing up your time and energy for other things you love to do
  • It gives you the background information you need to know in order to make decisions about your personal situation, so you can stop fretting about them and relax more
  • It keeps you focused so you can take small steps in the right direction, feeling a sense of achievement
  • It helps you organize your papers/ideas/stuff into manageable amounts, lessening the overwhelm
  • It brings enjoyment to a process that could be a bit demoralising otherwise

 

You'll also feel:

  • Relief (cos you’re finally taking action, whew!)
  • Confidence (cos you’re addressing things you’ve been putting off)
  • Satisfaction (cos you’ve made decisions you’ve found difficult)
  • Comforted (by knowing you are saving your family time and money in the long-term by doing this for them now)

And here’s another benefit that I only discovered very recently:

In the autumn of 2018, my mum and dad died in the same week.

 

It was a huge shock, as you can imagine. They had, however, completed their end-of-life plans the previous year. Thank goodness! Because all I and my siblings had to do was exactly what I have pointed out above.

 

All the decisions were taken out of our hands because they had all been discussed with the family much earlier, and written down, when my parents were still well enough to do this work.

 

(In the pic right are copies of their plans, an earlier version of the BIG Workbook).

 

What I hadn’t realized was how utterly comforting it would be for me to know that they had known that we would carry out their wishes, just as they had told us.

 

So let me introduce you to the Before I Go Method...

 

Find out how using the Before I Go Method
can stop you being overwhelmed,
start you being organized, and ensure you get all
your affairs in order for ever!

Would you like to…

 

  • Make 100% sure your family and friends will be properly taken care of after you’ve died?
  • Minimize the chance of arguments breaking out between family members re who gets what precious memento, or what decisions to make about the funeral?
  • Feel relieved that if you popped your clogs now, you’ve got everything up to date, and tidy for those coming after you?

How Does This 10-Module Online Course Work?

 

It happens in ten fortnightly modules. In the Monday of the first week, you will receive access to Module 1. Your aim is to watch/listen in your own time and begin to take action before you join the B.I.G. Method Coaching Call on the Monday of the following week at 6pm UK time (10am PST, 1pm EST).

 

There’s a total of 10 fortnightly coaching calls over 4 months,  of up to an hour long each (that includes a break over the Christmas period).

 

You’ll also receive a complimentary PDF copy of the Before I Go Workbook, which has all the questions in that you could ever need to answer, plus spaces for you to write in your answers. It’s a fillable PDF so you can complete it on your device, or you can of course print it out.

 

You get access to the private Facebook group for those who are taking (or who have taken) this class already, so full of people who've been on this journey already.

 

You receive recordings of all the coaching calls so if you miss any you can simply listen in later, at a time of your convenience.

 

Each module contains a video with slides of me talking you through the topic, plus some PDF’s you can print out (and will be handy in your death folder) and MP3’s you can listen to.

 

None of the videos are longer than 12 minutes, and nearly everything else is just a couple of pages to read, or 5 minutes or so to listen to. Altogether, any module could be watched/read/listened to in half an hour.

 

Of course then there is your homework, and how long that takes will depend on your personal situation.

 

But the great thing is that you have the
live coaching call with one of my
trained facilitators each fortnight too. 

 

Here you can bring your questions, comments, ponderings, stories and reflections. You can benefit from others’ learning and sharings. You can use this call to spur you into taking action, and report in with what you have taken action on. Or you can ask for inspiration and information to help you move forward, if you find you need that.

Here's the full course content:

Module 1: Your Life and Death Values

You can’t make any decisions about how you ideally want your end of life to be without knowing what your life values are. In this module, we’ll look at those with a view to helping you get clear about these. You’ll discover:

  • Your values: what they are, why they are so essential to your death and what to do about them
  • The 3 most important practical information pieces you can give your loved ones
  • Why knowing just what you want in your last days is crucial

Module 2: Creating Your Advance Directive (Living Wills)

 An advance decision allows you to state whether you want life-prolonging treatment or not in your last weeks/days, if you can’t speak for yourself. In this module, you'll find:

  • 3 crucial questions that need to be asked before you write anything
  • How to use your values to create this document
  • A template to personalise your wishes

 

Module 3: Looking After the Legals

Does talk of powers of attorney and wills make you yawn, or feel guilty? Here’s how to make it easier, even enjoyable, and still get what you need to do, done.

  • 13 important questions to ask your lawyer to get the most value for your money
  • The single most important thing to do to make your wishes known to your loved ones
  • The 1 alarming legal point that has to be taken care of, but most people don't know about

Module 4: Lessening the Household Headaches

Imagine what you would do if your spouse or partner suddenly wasn’t around? Would you know where to find documents, how to operate an appliance, what insurances you have? Take action in this module to avoid this. Discover:

  • Why it's important that privacy and secrecy is not so private or secret
  • What only you know about your household that needs to be shared
  • 3 essential elements of machines, appliances and vehicles

Module 5: Your Digital Life

Who knows how to get into your phone or your computer? If you weren’t here, then how would anyone know who to contact if you had died yesterday? Yes, your digital life lives on – unless you take action now. In this module, you'll find out:

  • Why you need to share your passwords
  • How to plan your digital legacy
  • The 5 steps of taking care of your digital presence

Module 6: Disposal of bodies

Whatever your beliefs as to what happens after death, there is always going to be a body for others to take care of – and this is a legal requirement in all countries. Find out:

  • The 9 ways bodies can be taken care of
  • How to choose just what's right for you
  • Body at home or not? How to decide

Module 7: Funerals and Rituals

It's easy to underestimate the power of ritual these days, but in this module we explore why it's so important.

  • The 3 essentials of a good ritual
  • 25 questions to ask to make sure what you want happens
  • How to choose who will conduct your funeral

Module 8: Undertaker or DIY?

Did you know you don’t have to have a funeral director? But you do need to know a few other things if you decide on this option. In this module, discover:

  • Who does what and how to choose
  • 5 things you need to have prepared in advance for a DIY funeral
  • How to keep costs down

Module 9: Death Cleaning (aka decluttering)

Death cleaning is different from ordinary decluttering. But if YOU don’t do it now, then someone else (who???) will have to. Discover:

  • The 3 pointers to make death cleaning easier
  • How overwhelm stops you and what to do about it
  • How to select what you want keep in a manageable way

Module 10: Obituaries/Eulogies & Keeping It All Updated

You could just disappear off the world with hardly anyone knowing. Or you could take charge of how you go.

  • The 3 main things you'll want to be remembered for and how to make sure that happens
  • Why writing your obituary benefits you now
  • How to easily keep your end-of-life plan updated

 And there are these great bonuses too!

 

  1. The Secret Behind Successful Action Taking!  This is a short pdf I put together which highlights the difference between motivated action, and inspired action. And the second way makes doing stuff SO MUCH EASIER!

 

2. A Private, 1:1 Thirty Minute Call with me to help you in whatever way works best for you. An opportunity not to be missed to work directly with me!

 

3. The Start Your Living Legacy short video series - a bonus for those who want to act NOW - Five short videos. originally run as a Challenge,  to get you going in an organised and fun way on creating just how you want to be remembered.  A really simple and yet very effective way of beginning a crucial memory for your family and friends. 

Full Money Back Guarantee

If this course does not work for you, I offer a full money back guarantee within the first 30 days.

Creating an end of life plan requires a commitment from you, it requires dedication and possibly some emotional struggle. The materials, videos and the live calls in the group are there to help you get through that emotional turmoil, and the daily life challenges that block you from just getting things done.

That's just the way it is.

Doing this end-of-life work is about going through the journey, accepting the inevitable, and gaining peace of mind.

I know this work is valuable, from both personal experiences and from hearing others ' tragic stories' when they were left high and dry without any information from their loved one. However, if you do not agree then, of course, you are entitled to a full refund within the first 30 days.

Just email with the details why it did not work for you and I will action an immediate refund regardless of the reason.

Course Contents Summarised

10 live coaching calls (hosted by one of my trained coaches)
10 videos, plus PDF’s and MP3’s in each module
The B.I.G. Workbook – your own copy to download or print out (retails at £35)
A Resource Pack of all necessary links
Facebook group – membership of a group dedicated to others doing the same course

This course begins with access to the first module from 2nd September, and the first coaching call on 9th September, 6pm UK time.

Thoughts from those that have done the course

"For anyone who has a blended family or has been re-married, this course and workbook is a MUST! Having the “excuse” that I had an assignment from Jane’s course made it easy to open the conversation with my husband, when previously I could not hold his attention for 15 minutes on this topic. And now I feel like I have created a “living document,” not a “death document.”  Patty Burgess Brecht  USA

“One of the joys of doing your course is that you plant the seed of thinking about your own death and little seedlings pop up in unexpected places that lead to a fully grown tree of life. The course was a surprisingly life affirming thing to do and you steered us through it with just the right amount of firmness, laughter and joy whilst also holding the sadness too.”  Jan Morley England

 

"

Thanks so much for the B.I.G. course. You are absolutely brilliant at it and the course is very thorough and well thought out. I love your combination of practical, matter of fact information, plus your loving kindness and care for people’s difficult experiences."  Lisa Mead Scotland

 

"Before I did the BIG Method course I was stalled in my own end of life preparations, and I wanted to gain the courage and the means which I could use in discussions with my loved ones.  Now I’ve finished the course, I’ve completed and updated my Will and Powers of Attorney; begun a systematic sorting, purging, gifting, and donating process, which I expect I will continue for the rest of my life; and chosen a body disposal method, amongst other things. Jane's many stories and organized lessons and videos were exceptionally helpful in this regard, and I will avail myself of the BIG Method’s lessons for the rest of my days". Julie Saeger Nierenberg

 

"I joined your group last time and made great progress. We have two severely disabled adult children who we care for at home and it has always been a concern of ours if anything should happen to us. 

My husband and I have now made a new will and if anything happens to us our home is now subject to a disability trust. Our home is now legally bound to this Trust and cannot be sold while our children are alive. This is a great weight off our minds. Thank you so much for giving me the push I needed to sort this. 

Katherine Coates, England

Lisa Mead Testimonial_Edited from jane on Vimeo.