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How to Create Your End-of-Life Plan

Use the Before I Go Method
Create an End of Life Plan
in 10 Straightforward Steps -
Without Losing Focus and Giving Up!

 

 

Find out how using the Before I Go Method
can stop you being overwhelmed,
start you being organized, and ensure you get all
your affairs in order for ever!

 

Would you like to…

 

  • Make 100% sure your family and friends will be properly taken care of after you’ve died?
  • Minimize the chance of arguments breaking out between family members re who gets what precious memento, or what decisions to make about the funeral?
  • Feel satisfied that if you popped your clogs now, you’ve got everything up to date, and tidy for those coming after you?

HOW TO STOP WORRYING

My husband Philip, my Mum and Dad

If you’ve ever worried about losing your independence and maybe becoming a burden on your children, you’ll be familiar with how horrible that thought is and how tempting it is just to ignore it and hope it won’t happen for you

You might have experienced having to take care of elderly parents who have not prepared for their end of life, or their death, and so you know just how debilitating it can be when you have to sort their affairs out afterwards

You may be bothered about the fact that it’ll be your children or friends who have to take care of all your stuff, if you don’t get a move on now. But even so, you just can’t get things sorted

Or you’re concerned about making the wrong decision about your own end of life – what if you change your mind?

 

Just the thought of all the stuff you have that someone will have to sort through can create overwhelm – you know you need to do it, but that in itself creates stuckness, and the end result is that nothing happens, nothing gets sorted, and you feel drained at the thought of it all.

And anyway, you just don’t have enough time to do all this – who does?

Well, imagine …

 

  • Looking round your house and seeing more space, less stuff, and that what you DO have is organized systematically
  • Putting your fingers on your death folder easily, knowing exactly that what is in there is everything that will be needed after you’ve gone
  • Your relief, knowing that all the administrative stress involved for your family after you have died has been taken care of
  • Knowing your family will only have to follow your instructions as to what you want after you’ve gone
  • Feeling satisfied and at peace because you’ve done all this, and all that has to happen now is a regular review

However, if you know this is a good idea, but do nothing about it, then you also know that you will continue to…

  • Fret that you haven’t done it, and that it is possible you could just kick the bucket at any time, and what would happen then…
  • Worry that one of your biggest fears will come true, and you will be a burden on your family in your later years
  • Feel guilty that you’re not taking action – but justify it by saying you just don’t know where to start, or you don’t have enough time, or you can’t decide what you want
  • Be stuck in the same place, nothing changing or moving, clutter, stuff and papers all around you, and it ultimately impacting negatively on your mental health, if not your physical.
  • Have your energy sapped bit by bit, because you know what you should be doing and yet you’re not doing it.

 

And all that time you could be spending with the special people in your life, doing what you love together, and instead you’re worrying (even mildly) that you haven’t done what you know you need to do.

One of the top five regrets of the dying is not spending enough quality time with those they love.

 

Not taking action when you know you ought to means you are impinging on that quality time. You don’t want to be like that, do you?

This is where I come in

My name is Jane Duncan Rogers, also known as the End-of-Life Lady, and I help older people and those who have had a brush with death in some way to get their act together and complete a comprehensive end-of-life plan.

I’m doing this because once I came very close to death. Not my own, but my husband’s.

 

In 2010 Philip was diagnosed
with stomach cancer

 

Neither of us knew anything about end-of-life plans, but we did know about wills. A few months after the diagnosis, we got our wills amended. It felt theoretical because he had been given a fairly good prognosis, if the operation was successful (which of course we felt sure it would be).

But it wasn’t successful.  They did not get all the cancer out, and so we were faced with the fact that he was going to die, and it was going to be sooner than later.

During this time, we received an email from a friend, Barbara. She insisted we answer the long list of questions in it, stuff like ‘what kind of coffin do you want?’, ‘how do you want your body dressed?’ and ‘what are your passwords? ‘ – I mean, really specific things.

We put it off.

Another email arrived.

We put it off again, neither of us willing to face up to the bluntness of the questions.

Yet another email arrived.

Finally, I told Philip we needed to just answer the darn things and get her off our back.

We sat up in bed one Saturday morning with the laptop. I asked him the questions and he gave me his answers. Imagine our surprise when an hour or two in we realized we were quite enjoying ourselves!   And by the end of the morning we felt a distinct sense of satisfaction and achievement, and immensely close and loving. So odd – we were discussing his death but the love that this unleashed that weekend was enormous. We put the list away and rarely referred to it again.

Fast forward three years...

My first book, Gifted By Grief: A True Story of Cancer, Loss and Rebirth was published. In it I told the story above. Readers flocked to tell me they needed to answer those questions too.

At this point, it might have daunted me if I had not had 25+ years of experience in the therapeutic world.  I originally trained with the famous Louise L Hay who wrote You Can Heal Your Life, and who started major mind-body-spirit publisher Hay House. Then I went on to train as a counselor and a coach (now I am Life and Death Coach – I help people with their ongoing lives as well as the end of them), and so I was able to easily take the next step:

I went ahead and organized a local workshop.

It Sold Out!

I put on another and the same thing happened.

I took the course online. Eventually I realized that this needed to be organized properly and so I founded the not-for-profit company:-

Before I Go Solutions.   (Our aim is to have end-of-life plans
become as commonplace as birth plans).

Just a little bit of a big vision!

What feels great for me is that it’s almost like Philip is working alongside me in this. He is still making an impact in the world, which was important to him, because it was down to his courage to admit he was dying, and to answer the questions, that has allowed the Before I Go Method® to be born.

Woo hoo!

It means that something good has come out of him dying so early (he was only 65) and that is very important to me.  And something else that is very important to me is...

Our Social Purpose

 

For each person who purchases a place on one of the BIG Method courses, we will donate a complimentary place to someone who is a carer or caregiver as part of our PAY IT FORWARD SCHEME. 

This is because Before I Go Solutions is a social enterprise, and we are committed to making a difference in the world.

Why carers and caregivers?

I was a carer for my husband, so I know how challenging it can be - money is often short; time is always at a premium; and it is often difficult to leave the person being cared for alone in the house, so being able to access an online course and community is a bonus.

However, it is still just as essential for caregivers to have an end-of-life plan as for anyone else; and also they will mostly be the ones who are organising the end-of-life plans for those they are caring for.

Plus...

By you taking care of your own end-of-life affairs, you will in effect be enabling two other people to do so.  Now - doesn't that feel good?

So what is the Before I Go Method® exactly?

It’s a way to attend to stuff that is difficult in the first place (remember how much Philip and I put it off, and he was only going to be living a matter of months.  You would think we would have been highly motivated, but no – that’s because doing your end-of-life plan is not necessarily an easy thing to do).

But it is a courageous thing to do.

  • It enables you to get going on the things you’ve been putting off, freeing up your time and energy for other things you love to do
  • It gives you the background information you need to know in order to make decisions about your personal situation, so you can stop fretting about them and relax more
  • It keeps you focused so you can take small steps in the right direction, feeling a sense of achievement
  • It helps you organize your papers/ideas/stuff into manageable amounts, lessening the overwhelm

It also brings you:

  • Relief (cos you’re finally taking action, whew!)
  • Confidence (cos you’re addressing things you’ve been putting off)
  • Satisfaction (cos you’ve made decisions you’ve found difficult)

It’s also incredibly comforting to know that you are saving your family time and money in the long-term by doing this for them now.

And here’s another benefit that I only discovered very recently.

Roderick and Jean Duncan, my parents

In the autumn of 2018, my mum and dad
died in the same week.

 

It was a huge shock. They had, however, completed their end-of-life plans the previous year. Thank goodness! Because all I and my siblings had to do was exactly what I have pointed out above.

All the decisions were taken out of our hands because they had all been discussed with the family much earlier, and written down, when my parents were still well enough to do this work.

What I hadn’t realized was how utterly comforting it would be for me to know that they had known that we would carry out their wishes, just as they had told us.

It felt like a last gift I could give them.

Not because it was what they wanted – the comfort was in me knowing that they KNEW we would do it, because it had all been discussed and agreed with beforehand.

So now I have my parents also in on making a contribution to the B.I.G. vision  and that actually feels great as well, although as it is so recent I still feel terribly sad that it happened at all.  Even as I wrote this, tears came to visit.  I had to pause, and let them flow. I’ve learnt to breathe, go more slowly, and then the next action will show itself.  And in this case, it is continuing to share with you the next piece of information…

How does this 10-module course work?

Access to the course (Section 1) begins on             11th February 2019

 

On the Monday of that week, you will receive access to Module 1. Your aim is to watch/listen in your own time and begin to take action before you join the B.I.G. Method Coaching Call on the Thursday of the same week at 6pm UK time (10am PST, 1pm EST).  There’s a total of 10 coaching calls over 11 weeks, of up to an hour long each.

You’ll also receive a complimentary copy of the Before I Go Workbook, which has all the questions in that you could ever need to answer, plus spaces for you to write in your answers. It’s a fillable PDF so you can complete it on your device, or you can of course print it out.

 

You get access to the private Facebook group for those who are taking (or who have taken) this class already, whether in person or online.

You receive recordings of all the coaching calls so if you miss any you can simply listen in later.

Each module contains a video with slides of me talking you through the topic, plus some PDF’s you can print out (and will be handy in your death folder) and MP3’s you can listen to.

None of the videos are longer than 12 minutes, and nearly everything else is just a couple of pages to read, or 5 minutes or so to listen to. Altogether, any module could be watched/read/listened to in half an hour.

Of course then there is your homework, and how long that takes will depend on your personal situation.

But the great thing is that you have the

live coaching call with me or one of my

trained facilitators each week too. 

Here you can bring your questions, comments, ponderings, stories and reflections. You can benefit from others’ learning and sharings. You can use this call as a spur to you taking action, and report in with what you have taken action on. Or you can ask for inspiration and information to help you move forward, if you find you need that.

Here's the full course content

Section 1: Before Death

Module 1: Your Life and Death Values

You can’t make any decisions about how you ideally want your end of life to be without knowing what your life values are. In this module, we’ll look at those with a view to helping you get clear about these. You’ll discover:

  • Your values: what they are, why they are so essential to your death and what to do about them
  • The 3 most important practical information pieces you can give your loved ones
  • Why knowing just what you want in your last days is crucial

Module 2: Creating Your Advance Directive (Living Wills)

 An advance decision allows you to state whether you want life-prolonging treatment or not in your last weeks/days, if you can’t speak for yourself. In this module, you'll find:

  • 3 crucial questions that need to be asked before you write anything
  • How to use your values to create this document
  • A template to personalise your wishes

Module 3: Looking After the Legals

Does talk of powers of attorney and wills make you yawn, or feel guilty? Here’s how to make it easier, even enjoyable, and still get what you need to do, done.

  • 13 important questions to ask your lawyer to get the most value for your money
  • The single most important thing to do to make your wishes known to your loved ones
  • The 1 alarming legal point that has to be taken care of, but most people don't know about

Module 4: Lessening the Household Headaches  

Imagine what you would do if your spouse or partner suddenly wasn’t around? Would you know where to find documents, how to operate an appliance, what insurances you have? Take action in this module to avoid this. Discover:

  • Why it's important that privacy and secrecy is not so private or secret
  • What only you know about your household that needs to be shared
  • 3 essential elements of machines, appliances and vehicles

Module 5: Your Digital Life 

Who knows how to get into your phone or your computer? If you weren’t here, then how would anyone know who to contact if you had died yesterday? Yes, your digital life lives on – unless you take action now. In this module, you'll find out:

  • Why you need to share your passwords
  • How to plan your digital legacy
  • The 5 steps of taking care of your digital presence

Section 2: After Death

Module 6: Disposal of bodies

Whatever your beliefs as to what happens after death, there is always going to be a body for others to take care of – and this is a legal requirement in all countries. Find out:

  • The 9 ways bodies can be taken care of
  • How to choose just what's right for you
  • Body at home or not? How to decide

Module 7: Funerals and Rituals

It's easy to underestimate the power of ritual these days, but in this module we explore why it's so important.

  • The 3 essentials of a good ritual
  • 25 questions to ask to make sure what you want happens
  • How to choose who will conduct your funeral

Module 8: Undertaker or DIY?

Did you know you don’t have to have a funeral director? But you do need to know a few other things if you decide on this option. In this module, discover:

  • Who does what and how to choose
  • 5 things you need to have prepared in advance for a DIY funeral
  • How to keep costs down

Module 9: Death Cleaning (aka decluttering)

Death cleaning is different from ordinary decluttering. But if YOU don’t do it now, then someone else (who???) will have to. Discover:

  • The 3 pointers to make death cleaning easier
  • How overwhelm stops you and what to do about it
  • How to select what you want keep in a manageable way

Module 10: Obituaries/Eulogies & Keeping It All Updated

You could just disappear off the world with hardly anyone knowing. Or you could take charge of how you go.

  • The 3 main things you'll want to be remembered for and how to make sure that happens
  •  Why writing your obituary benefits you now
  • How to easily keep your end-of-life plan updated

Plus there are two great BONUSES!

1. Start Your Living Legacy

This 5-video programme allows you to dig into just how to begin with creating how you want to be remembered. If you’ve always thought a memory box was a good idea, this takes it one step further!  Each video is under 8 minutes, with small, specific action steps to get you going on organising your memories.

2. The Secret Behind Taking Successful Actions

A concise set of pointers in PDF format that you can return to again and again when you need a nudge in the action-taking direction

 

Just imagine having got all these things attended to, your Workbook filled in, and thus your end-of-life plan completed!  Nice, eh?

 

If this course does not work for you, I offer a full money back guarantee within the timeline of the course.

Creating an end of life plan requires a commitment from you, it requires dedication and possibly some emotional struggle. The materials, videos and the live calls in the group are there to help you get through that emotional turmoil, and the daily life challenges that block you from just getting things done.

That's just the way it is.

Doing this end-of-life work is about going through the journey, accepting the inevitable, and gaining peace of mind.

I know this work is valuable, from both personal experiences and from hearing others ' tragic stories' when they were left high and dry without any information from their loved one. However, if you do not agree then, of course, you are entitled to a full refund.

Just email with the details why it did not work for you and I will action an immediate refund regardless of the reason.

Course Contents Summarised

10 live coaching calls (hosted by me)
10 videos, plus PDF’s and MP3’s in each module
The B.I.G. Workbook – your own copy to download or print out (retails at £35)
A Resource Pack of all necessary links
Facebook group – membership of a group dedicated to others doing the same course

 


BONUS 1:  Start Your Living Legacy short video course to help you be remembered in the way you want

BONUS 2: The Secret Behind Taking Successful Actions  - a concise PDF that you can return to again and again when you need a nudge in the action-taking direction

 


Thoughts from those that have done the course

"For anyone who has a blended family or has been re-married, this course and workbook is a MUST! Having the “excuse” that I had an assignment from Jane’s course made it easy to open the conversation with my husband, when previously I could not hold his attention for 15 minutes on this topic. And now I feel like I have created a “living document,” not a “death document.”

Patty Burgess Brecht
Patty Burgess Brecht USA

"Thanks so much for the B.I.G. course. You are absolutely brilliant at it and the course is very thorough and well thought out. I love your combination of practical, matter of fact information, plus your loving kindness and care for people’s difficult experiences."

Lisa Mead
Lisa Mead Scotland

When my dad passed away from Alzheimer's, none of his end of life plans were determined. It was a nightmare for my family to grieve his loss and also have to quickly plan his memorial service and cremation. Going through Jane's Before I Go programme with my mom has been such a relief. We have put our end of life plans in order and are prepared for the inevitable, which is a huge blessing.

Gina Decker
Gina Decker USA

Doing the BIG Method course has been a way of giving love to myself; I still have plenty to do, so lots more opportunities to give myself love!!!  

Lesley Hannah
Lesley Hannah England

“One of the joys of doing your course is that you plant the seed of thinking about your own death and little seedlings pop up in unexpected places that lead to a fully grown tree of life. The course was a surprisingly life affirming thing to do and you steered us through it with just the right amount of firmness, laughter and joy whilst also holding the sadness too.”

Jan Morley
Jan Morley England

Most people will think that dealing with death sounds quite morbid. But Jane got us to turn around and just face it, and it wasn't morbid at all - actually it was a lot of fun! In the process of working through the questions in the Workbook, I actually felt liberated. It was an opportunity to do the things that most of us are scared of doing. It's not an easy process, which is why Jane's courses are so helpful, with her support and the support of others too. Taking the time to work through these questions, I felt grown up! It's well worth doing.

Michael Williams
Michael Williams Canada

“As doctors, we say ‘prevention is better than cure’. Jane’s approach to end of life is very positive. She provides all the tools for a plan which can be easily accessed at the time of death by any member of the family. Because it has been taken care of many months before, there are no surprises, so loved ones feel the immediate benefit and can go forward with confidence knowing what was wanted, even just by doing the ‘Before I Go’ quiz. I say ‘Prevent the Pain with the Plan’.”  Dr. Doreen Miller, England

Dr. Doreen Miller
Dr. Doreen Miller England

 

If you have been skimming through all this and just want to know what this offer is all about, you’re getting the easy way to finally get your end-of-life plans in place….

 

When You Join My 10 Module Course in the Before I Go Method, You Will Benefit From:

10 live coaching calls (hosted by me or one of my trained facilitators)

10 videos, plus PDF’s and MP3’s in each module

The B.I.G. Workbook – your own copy to download or print out (retails at £35)

A Resource Pack of all necessary links

Facebook group – membership of a group dedicated to others doing the same course

BONUS:  Start Your Living Legacy short video course to help you be remembered in the way you want

BONUS: The Secret Behind Taking Successful Actions  - a concise PDF you can return to again and again when you need a nudge in the action-taking direction