Your Questions Answered

What is a shroud?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | December 1, 2020

“Would you rather your body was wrapped in a shroud, or placed in a coffin?” This was a question I asked folk in my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/endoflifeconversations It turned out that it was more or less equally divided, but that many didn’t know hardly anything about a shroud.   So what is it?   It’s…

Learn More
sorting out stuff

How do I start on sorting out my stuff?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | November 2, 2020

Sorting out your stuff can sometimes feel so overwhelming that it’s really hard to get going. Here are my top 3 tips to help you make a start.

Learn More

Is there life after loss?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | September 13, 2020

When you’re bereaved, it’s easy to think there will never be any quality of life after loss. It’s such a hard time, but this story gives hope, inspiration and a sense of possibility, especially for those in the older stage of life.

Learn More

What’s the difference between end of life plan facilitators and end of life doulas? 

By Jane Duncan Rogers | August 26, 2020

End of life as a phrase has become much more common in the last few years, initially attached to the word ‘doulas’, and now there are end of life plan facilitators, or consultants, and even coaches. So what’s the actual difference?   An end of life doula is someone who is non-medical, and trained to…

Learn More

How do I organise my old photos?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | July 7, 2020

How do I organise my old photos is something many have asked me about. It’s a great question, and very relevant for many of us of a certain age! And indeed if you are asking this question you are likely to have boxes/albums/files full of black and white photos, many of them not very good…

Learn More

How do I create a legacy book?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | June 22, 2020

There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots; the other, wings. Here’s how you can leave tangible memories for your children and grandchildren.

Learn More

Will Coronavirus Change Our Conversations About Death?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | May 20, 2020

A useful conversation set up by Compassion in Dying (UK), with several presenters, including a breast surgeon (who also has breast cancer); an intensive care anaesthetist; and a palliative care doctor.

Learn More

Do we really need to be frightened by death to fully appreciate life?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | May 17, 2020

We’ve become so far removed from death that when the effect of the pandemic began to hit hard, we were stunned and shocked. How dare this happen, to us, who are so used to being in charge of life?

Learn More

How to plan for the end of life – Dying Matters Week UK

By Jane Duncan Rogers | May 12, 2020

During Dying Matters week, I was delighted to be asked to post about just how you really DO plan – here are some pointers to get you going on your plan for the end of life.  Even more essential now in these days of the pandemic.

Learn More

Funerals and body disposal in the time of coronavirus

By Jane Duncan Rogers | April 19, 2020

In my book, Before I Go: The Essential Guide to Creating A Good End of Life Plan, I introduced the idea of the separation of the disposal of the body from the ritual involved in what has traditionally been called a funeral, and which is what we are familiar with. There is no doubt, funerals,…

Learn More

Coronavirus: stay home or go to hospital?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | March 30, 2020

If I have coronavirus, is it better to stay at home or go to hospital? Dr Kathryn Mannix answers the question. #havetheconversation

Learn More

Coronavirus and being out of control – but here’s what you CAN control

By Jane Duncan Rogers | March 16, 2020

Suddenly the possibility of death from COVID-19 has come closer much more swiftly than we might have anticipated. However, although we may not have any control over when, where or how the coronavirus will be in our area, we DO have control over how we meet it.  We CAN manage our fearful thoughts (see my…

Learn More

Coronavirus, life, death and fear: 3 pointers when feeling out of control

By Jane Duncan Rogers | March 12, 2020

3 ways to calm fear thoughts when worries about coronavirus threaten to take over

Learn More

Is funeral insurance really worth it?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | March 7, 2020

Marisa, a client, contacted me with an urgent tone in her voice. “Should I get funeral insurance? I really want to sort my funeral out, but this is a big stumbling block for me. I just can’t decide, and it’s keeping me awake at night.” Aged 68, Marisa was aware she needed to take care…

Learn More

3 Tips on How to Talk to Children About Dying and Death

By Jane Duncan Rogers | February 5, 2020

Many people have misgivings when it comes to talking with children about death. Find out what to do about it if it’s something you worry about.

Learn More

The most unusual Valentine’s Day present ever!

By Jane Duncan Rogers | January 28, 2020

Everyone has an opinion about  Valentine’s Day, but most of us love a gift, no matter what. Find out about a special offer on a gift that will really surprise your loved ones – as well as make their life easier!

Learn More

Decluttering

By Jane Duncan Rogers | January 14, 2020

Inspired by the BIG Method, Michael Williams (a BIG Solutions end-of-life planning facilitator) decided to tackle the problem of de-cluttering a lifetime of posessions head-on.

Learn More

Christmas: 5 Tips On How To Cope When You’re Grieving

By Jane Duncan Rogers | December 18, 2019

Christmas, or any other celebration at this time of year  – how to cope when you’re grieving. Is it even possible? Just the thought of your loved one at this time can be a nightmare, especially when it is a partner, child or other person you were living with. I hope this infographic will help…

Learn More

Time to get rid of euphemisms about death – or not?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | December 11, 2019

Recently, an article was published in the Guardian on this subject. But is it really time to get rid of euphemisms about death? Could it be that if we do this, we are throwing the baby out with the bathwater? I was intrigued about this idea, and so asked people in a few Facebook groups…

Learn More

Marrying Yourself After Becoming a Widow: A Beautiful Ritual to Help You Recover

By Jane Duncan Rogers | November 27, 2019

Being left behind takes quite a bit of getting used to, there is no doubt about it. But we can’t bury ourselves in our grief for the rest of our lives. We need to find a way to recover and move on. Some of us choose to remarry, and so did I, although this is a different kind of marriage.

Learn More

4 tips to dealing with the effects of missing someone you love

By Jane Duncan Rogers | November 19, 2019

Missing your Mum or your Dad after they have died is as natural as anything, especially if they have played a large part in your life, such as if you had been caring for them. The grief comes with a big slam, catches you sideways, and tosses and turns you all over the place. A…

Learn More

How Do I Keep Funeral Costs Down?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | November 13, 2019

How do I keep funeral costs down?  The perennial question for many.   Here’s a familiar story: “I don’t want to pay that amount of money for something I don’t want!” I screamed these words to the funeral director who sat opposite me on the sofa two days after my husband had died. Tears rolled down…

Learn More

What if You Died Today? 3 Quick (and Powerful!) Steps to Ease the Burden on Your Family

By Jane Duncan Rogers | November 6, 2019

Paradoxically, when we are willing to face the end, we find ourselves able to appreciate being here, now, more fully. In other words, facing the end enables more joy right now; more pleasure and more satisfaction. Find out 3 simple things you can do to get prepared.

Learn More

Love-Giver or Love-Taker? 3 Tips for a Healthy Personality Balance

By Jane Duncan Rogers | October 30, 2019

If you had died yesterday, what would you have lived your life as? A love-giver or a love-taker? Are you willing to change your demeanour toward life and try to be more open to giving?

Learn More

9 Unique Ways to Remember Your Loved Ones

By Jane Duncan Rogers | October 23, 2019

Walking in a beautiful memorial park in Coventry, England, dedicated to the huge numbers of men killed in both World Wars, I felt the peace in the air. Remembrance is an important part of death, and there are lots of ways you can do it

Learn More

How do I create a ritual?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | October 7, 2019

I didn’t know what to do – only that it was important to me to do something.”Shall we gather about coffee time tomorrow morning? And each of us say something?” I tentatively suggested…

Learn More

Would You Believe, I Am An Introvert?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | September 12, 2019

I notice that after a prolonged time when I am ‘out’ there, I need to retreat ‘in’. This is because, believe it or not, I am an introvert. I also know that my mission is to shout from the rooftops about end of life matters. Find out how I balance the two, and become more alive by facing death.

Learn More

7 Things Learnt After Cleaning Out of a Home to Settle an Estate

By Jane Duncan Rogers | September 9, 2019

My Facebook friend Shirley Johnson recently shared her experience of clearing out a family home to settle an estate. Read her valuable experiences and tips for how to avoid unnecessary time and hassle.

Learn More

7 ways To Help Maintain Your Independence As You Age

By Jane Duncan Rogers | July 19, 2019

In my recent survey, the issue of being a burden, or maintaining your independence as you age was the one thing that most people mentioned. Find out what you can do right now to help yourself in the future.

Learn More

How do I let go of unnecessary stuff?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | June 8, 2019

How on earth does anyone ever actually manage to let go of the unnecessary stuff that lies around in the house? I’ve got some suggestions for you…

Learn More
Elephant in the Room

Is there such a thing as a good death?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | May 15, 2019

In a world of increasing uncertainty death is one thing we all know for sure will happen. Is there such a thing as a good death?

Learn More

Short Video Series on End of Life Planning

By Jane Duncan Rogers | April 10, 2019

In a series of five video chats with Sixty And Me founder Margaret Manning, Jane takes a detailed and sympathetic look at the challenges of making a good end of life plan.

Learn More

Death ‘Could’ Happen To You Too!

By Jane Duncan Rogers | March 28, 2019

After my husband died in 2011, I became bound up with the idea that death could happen to me too. If a cancer diagnosis had come out of the blue for him, it could indeed happen to me too.  The next thought, on the heels of that one, was ‘what if I die when I’m…

Learn More

How To Keep Someone Alive In Your Heart

By Jane Duncan Rogers | February 18, 2019

Just because someone dies, does not mean you forget them – on the contrary they stay alive in your heart for as long as you want or need them to. That’s what was happening last week when I attended a charity evening run by Moray Business Women, the local networking club to which I belong.…

Learn More

Intention-Directions vs Goals

By Jane Duncan Rogers | January 7, 2019

‘I don’t set goals, instead I focus on being me, loving myself as much as possible, taking opportunities that present themselves to me and watching my life unfold before me’. This is a paraphrase of what was said by a woman for whom I have a huge amount of respect. Louise L Hay is author…

Learn More

Overwhelming feelings at Xmas

By Jane Duncan Rogers | December 13, 2018

Thinking ahead to Christmas Day, or whichever day you celebrate in your faith, overwhelming feelings can easily arise  when you think of the empty chair at the meal table; or no need to buy a present any more; or no present to look forward to receiving. Your heart is a mixture of emotions – on…

Learn More

When Your Parents Die, What Happens?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | November 14, 2018

Someone said to me recently that when your parents die, if they are old, have led a good life, and are ready to go, then you don’t grieve so much. I have recently discovered both the truth and untruth of this, when my Dad died on 25th September, and then my Mum died just a…

Learn More

International Therapist Magazine, Autumn 2018

By Jane Duncan Rogers | October 26, 2018

Jane’s article Working With Terminally Ill Clients, First published in International Therapist, the membership magazine of the FHT (www.fht.org.uk). You can read it online here or read the PDF

Learn More

When Your Partner Is Dying, What Do You Say?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | October 16, 2018

Here’s an extract from an article I’ve just had published in NextAvenue.org.  It contains many helpful suggestions for how to start and maintain a conversation when someone you love is dying, as well as tips on how to prepare well for the end, when it comes. You really are alive right up until the moment…

Learn More

Conscious Living, Conscious Dying

By Jane Duncan Rogers | October 7, 2018

I’m delighted to announce I’ll be taking part as a panelist in Conscious Living, Conscious Dying – a series of live panel discussions about life and death from October 24th – November 21st 2018. I was privileged to have Heidi Hornlein and Mark Davenport, who started the Wisdom Factory, on one of the BIG Method…

Learn More

What Happens When You Don’t Leave a Will

By Jane Duncan Rogers | August 24, 2018

Aretha Franklin didn’t leave a will. What was she thinking of?  Well, I assume she wasn’t thinking. Her lawyer is reported as saying he spoke to her repeatedly about having a last will and testament or a trust, and she always said she would do it, but never seemed to get round to it. Well,…

Learn More

Positive Aspects Of Preparing For Death

By Jane Duncan Rogers | August 21, 2018

Today, I’m sharing an interview on Silver Tent Radio with Debra Sofia Magdalene. Listen in if you want to hear: about whether your body is useful, or harmful, in organ donation what living wakes are what death cleaning is and when to start and much more! Click here to listen Silver Tent Radio Show Host…

Learn More

What Is a Body?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | July 19, 2018

From Before I Go: The Essential Guide to Creating A Good End of Life Plan. Chapter 7: What Is A Body? In many Western countries, when you see a closed coffin at a funeral, it can be a shock. Imagining the person you loved in there is not always a pleasant picture. A lid over…

Learn More

3 tips on how to talk with someone who is dying

By Jane Duncan Rogers | July 11, 2018

Sylvia was becoming more and more frail. It was clear that, though in good spirits, her body was nearing the end of her life. She kept having visits to hospital, and had recently had a fall which had precipitated one of these. But how on earth do we talk with someone who is dying? If…

Learn More

9 Ways to Create a Memorial of Your Loved Ones

By Jane Duncan Rogers | July 4, 2018

  Walking in a beautiful memorial park in Coventry, England, dedicated to the huge numbers of men killed in both World Wars, I felt the peace in the air. All around me on this sunny day, families were out picnicking, playing and enjoying themselves and yet there was still a sense of peace. What a…

Learn More

What If You Knew You’d Be the Last To…?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | June 25, 2018

What if you knew you’d be the last to touch someone?       If you were taking tickets, for example, at the theatre, tearing them, giving back the ragged stubs, you might take care to touch that palm, brush your fingertips along the life line’s crease. When a man pulls his wheeled suitcase too…

Learn More
Before I Go - the cover of the book

Seven Reasons To Bother Doing an End of Life Plan

By Jane Duncan Rogers | June 13, 2018

1. You fall ill or have an accident, having assumed that your next of kin will be able to take care of you. The term next of kin often means your nearest blood relative. In the case of a married couple or a civil partnership it usually means their husband or wife. However, it is…

Learn More
Before I Go - the cover of the book

Why Bother Doing An End Of Life Plan?

By Jane Duncan Rogers | June 1, 2018

Let’s face it, there is never going to be a good time to address anything to do with dying, death or grief. When you’re fit and healthy, the last thing on your mind is the end of your life. However, this is actually the very time to take your head out of the sand and…

Learn More
wedding

Wills, Weddings and Updating Your Documentation

By Jane Duncan Rogers | May 21, 2018

The royal wedding here in the UK has been a huge topic in the media of all kinds these last few weeks. However, I can bet that hardly anyone has been also talking to Prince Harry and Meghan about a crucial thing that needs to happen when a couple get married. It’s more usually thought…

Learn More
good death week

What Is a ‘Good Death’? – 5 Contributing Factors

By Jane Duncan Rogers | May 10, 2018

My husband was lying in the hospital bed. Drains, tubes, and a catheter were connected to him in various ways. The constant beep-beep of the machine next to him was irritating beyond description, particularly at night-time. We’d been told there was nothing more they could do, and by this time he was too weak to…

Learn More