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end of life

When Your Parents Die, What Happens?

By Jane Duncan Rogers / November 14, 2018 / 13 Comments

Someone said to me recently that when your parents die, if they are old, have led a good life, and are ready to go, then you don’t grieve so much. I have recently discovered both the truth and untruth of this, when my Dad died on 25th September, and then my Mum died just a…

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3 tips on how to talk with someone who is dying

By Jane Duncan Rogers / July 11, 2018 / 4 Comments

Sylvia was becoming more and more frail. It was clear that, though in good spirits, her body was nearing the end of her life. She kept having visits to hospital, and had recently had a fall which had precipitated one of these. But how on earth do we talk with someone who is dying? If…

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Before I Go - the cover of the book

Seven Reasons To Bother Doing an End of Life Plan

By Jane Duncan Rogers / June 13, 2018 / 1 Comment

1. You fall ill or have an accident, having assumed that your next of kin will be able to take care of you. The term next of kin often means your nearest blood relative. In the case of a married couple or a civil partnership it usually means their husband or wife. However, it is…

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Before I Go - the cover of the book

Why Bother Doing An End Of Life Plan?

By Jane Duncan Rogers / June 1, 2018 / 0 Comments

Let’s face it, there is never going to be a good time to address anything to do with dying, death or grief. When you’re fit and healthy, the last thing on your mind is the end of your life. However, this is actually the very time to take your head out of the sand and…

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good death week

What Is a ‘Good Death’? – 5 Contributing Factors

By Jane Duncan Rogers / May 10, 2018 / 0 Comments

My husband was lying in the hospital bed. Drains, tubes, and a catheter were connected to him in various ways. The constant beep-beep of the machine next to him was irritating beyond description, particularly at night-time. We’d been told there was nothing more they could do, and by this time he was too weak to…

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3 Things to Do When You’re Afraid Of Your Spouse Dying First

By Jane Duncan Rogers / April 11, 2018 / 16 Comments

It was my greatest fear. Having had no children, the thought of my husband dying first and me being left alone in the world was something I simply couldn’t bear. Even if I had had children, the idea of my best friend, lover, business partner and companion leaving me behind was unbearable. So I didn’t…

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Health: How To Make Good Decisions Towards the End of Life

By Jane Duncan Rogers / November 20, 2017 / 7 Comments

How to make health decisions towards the end of life will depend on all sorts of things – not just how you have lived your life health-wise, but also circumstances at the time, the support you have around you, and the quality of your life at the time. I recently received a story that didn’t…

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A Vision Coming True – Who Wants to Be Part of This?

By Jane Duncan Rogers / November 15, 2017 / 0 Comments

I HAVE A VISION!   Who wants to be part of this vision?   • Imagine a world where people feel at ease talking about dying, death and grief. • Imagine your family, or some of them, talking naturally about end of life, round the dinner table • Imagine everyone having death plans, just like…

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How To Talk With Someone Who Doesn’t Want to Talk

By Jane Duncan Rogers / July 6, 2017 / 0 Comments

Bernard stomped out, shouting, ‘No. I will not talk about this!’  His wife Jennifer felt shocked. She hadn’t realized he felt so strongly. But now she was left with her questions: ‘What will I do if you die before me?’ ‘I don’t know anything about our finances, how will I cope?’ ‘I need to know…

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5 Questions to Ask When Someone Is Actually Dying

By Jane Duncan Rogers / June 21, 2017 / 1 Comment

Have you noticed we often use euphemisms about death?  In my last blog on this, just recently I was advocating ‘telling it like it is’, and using words such as death, dying, die. But the fact is, when you come to meet someone whom you know probably has only weeks to live, is it really…

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